That's really a tall order for a home type of server.
Normally, in an Enterprise environment, all of that is done by proxy servers. For Server 2003, that would mean ISA server. For the spam, that would be a feature of Exchange Server.
In your case, you'd probably spend your time more fruitfully on examining some kind of solution like Norton Internet Security that filters all of that stuff out on the client. For a small setup like yours, that provides the best protection, and it's still reasonable to configure.
alc6379
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