My name is Roy Sallows. Technologically, I am about on a par with flatworms, who can quite easily be trained by mild electric shocks to go right or left at every fork the encounter. Of course, they have no idea that they are being manipulated. Neither do I. And I hate the shocks.
I write for film and TV and I am desperately seeking a way to get past the myriad landmines in Microsoft. I have downloaded Opera and Firefox and I don't understand either of them. I don't understand IE8, either, but I recognize the name.
Ideally, I will find and download a Linux OS that installs without any decisions made by me that aren't point and click, and I will fear no Internet anymore.
I live in Canada, in the midst of the midnight sun and spring floods and twenty pound mosquitoes and people who go ice-fishing and bring back lots and lots of ice.
Anyway, that's me. I'm going to ask many, many questions, and I probably won't understand the answers first time around. Got a four-year-old? Start about there, step by each, small words and not too many of them.
Remember the flatworm...

WOW, literate and well-read -- ftw, are you doing here?

Just kidding - welcome.

That's got to be the best introductory post I have ever read.

Welcome! I shall tread lightly so as not to step on any flatworms...