i want to make a 3D game in Java but the tutorials i was watching aren't being made and i don't know which 3D to use because j3d looks pretty bad... and i'm not new to Java just new to 3D.
IMO, it is too primitive a wrapper to be used for creating games. But then again, the choice here might depend on what is the purpose of the entire exercise; creating a simplistic game engine/framework and then creating a game or directly creating a game. :)
Yes, OpenGL only gets you bare-metal 3D graphics rendering capabilities. I mention it only as an alternative to Java3D.
Engines like jMonkey provide a lot of extra built-in API functionality for a game.