What causes Depression and toughs of suicides - Page 2

[mattyd]

Yes, Flaco, it is normal. You are feeling your emotions which is a very good thing to be in touch with. The feelings themselves are terrible when they occur but the process you are going through is part of the healing, the opening up and letting go of your emotions instead of stuffing them down inside. This in the long run is good.

As to music that stirs emotions: due to this very thing there is music that I cannot and will not listen to. At the time it is OK, but after awhile it is not healthy to re-live and give energy to these emotions unnecessarily. What I mean is, feel your feelings as they are but try to resist staying in them too long and purposely. I know of this because I have done this too often in my life.

Matty D.

[John A]

Also when I listen to music that talk about the same situation I am it hurts real bad I have these song I here and it makes me cry almost all of the time is that normal?

That is not unnormal. Anything that brings up previous scars will sting, and you will feel it. But don't dwell on yourself, remain hopeful. No one wants to date someone depressed, so cheer up a little and keep looking! :cheesy:

[Junyah]

try to not listen to the song and say stop it to yourself ... remember ... what peole are doing is sharing their thoughts with you... you read it and take what is useful... We have a saying in Hula ... All knowledge odes not come from one halau (hula school)

Your not desparate or stupid ... you just want to be loved and supported.

But you are crying ... and crying can be good to and extent but if your crying too much that could be problems

The job situatation ... you gotta be happy ... i had a career for almost 25 yrs.. When I decided I wasn't happy and I wanted to do something else ... I left my compfort zone and I left. I put 10 years back on my life ... but I got a delayed reaction from the stress ... that stroke..

Hope your doing a little better ... but if it keeps up consider .. just talking to a priest or couselor ... It doesn't mean your crazy

I was from a career where we had the highest depression, anxiety, and suicide rate ... we were up there with the firefighters, nurses, and social workers.. you know ..you never can tell .. there are laws protecting you confidentiality when you go to a counselor.

I don't know how the police officers are in your area but you could talk to one of them...In california ..Its mandatory that we take crisis intervention, counseling and referrel, and dealing with people in crisis...

I heard the officers in Springfield have to have the academy and its regulated by a POST commision similar to ours ... I know there is alot of "cop bashing right now" but most of the officers are professionals...

Remeber ...It doesn't mean that your crazy or a sad case when you talk to a counselor or a priest.. Take some time to think it over

[flaco]

Well thats the problem I do stop listening to it but when am in the streets and cars pass with any type of music that are about love why did you leave any type of music like that get me depressed and sometimes really to kill myself why?Also it hurts bad I almost all the time cry.:sad:

[mattyd]

Well thats the problem I do stop listening to it but when am in the streets and cars pass with any type of music that are about love why did you leave any type of music like that get me depressed and sometimes really to kill myself why?Also it hurts bad I almost all the time cry.:sad:

You seem to be a sensitive person; this is a quality that lacks in many (most) people IMO. I have been through scores of negative relationships since 18 (I am almost 36 now) and many times I felt literally doomed that I could never obtain a positive, healthy relationship with a girl. How could I meet a woman of my level when I could not even manage a relationship with a woman who's standards fell below mine? This is not a rant against women, but it is the only gender I have experience with and can give history of. Most women I have dated were "Sirens" ; they were the wrong kind of women to invest myself in: no morality beyond the moment, drug-users in many cases, Pagans, shiftless, immature, and some of the most ungrateful people I have yet to meet. Yet, their physical beauty and charms lured me in. This was my fault, really, for being led. I will never accept this for myself again and either should you. All humans deserve a dear love that treats them how they SHOULD be treated: affection, truth, trust, interest, faith, future.

Now, I am no Optimist-- I am many days a Pessimist and even a Fatalist ("The worst WILL happen!") This I have to fight constantly in order to have a wonderful life. It takes practice. I must trick my mind into postive thoughts and, over time, it seems to work. I still battle with Depression and other related issues at least once a month. When I feel this I do one of many things to help cure this: read, watch Television, play video games, go to church, talk to a friend. I do not code nor listen to music-- that seems to make it worse. It does not always work immediately but it does eventually.

What you are going through, in part, is due to our society. The United States has fallen into the depths of an isolated, fast-paced world where money and "sucess" is the only important thing, it seems. I reject all of this (at least theoretically). We find ourselves in the prison of loneliness and we cannot find a way out. Couple this with Depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and other related ailments and we are prone to exile ourselves in order to protect ourselves. We learn through the pain of lost relationships to armor and protect our hearts. This is quite normal even though we do not want it to be so.

I do tend to disagree with those in this world who throw around terms such as "Cheer up" or "Just get over it": yes, we must do these things eventually (and we\ you shall) but it is in your own time, not theirs. People who do NOT suffer Depression have no clue what it is like to live beneath this strain and fear.

It will get better, Flaco, in time.

Matty D.

[flaco]

I hate Myself anyway thanks guys and Lady's now I will try a different approach although I will fail miserably

[John A]

I hate Myself anyway thanks guys and Lady's now I will try a different approach although I will fail miserably

Don't hate yourself. There's no point in crying over spilled milk (even if it wasn't your fault). There's also no reason to hate yourself. If you can get 29 girlfriends, you must be fairly attractive. ;) And surely you don't believe that that number is not going any higher?

Believe in yourself. Don't give up hope, and you'll likely not only find a female who truly loves you, but you'll find that there's more to life than that. So don't kill yourself just because you got dumped, because it doesn't make any sense.

[flaco]

thanks guys I feel much better rep for all nice job guys

[japsi]

Well I have a problem I was recently dumped by my girl well is a habit for me already I have been dumped 23 times already because am just plain ugly anyways I need some help or consolation,What is depression?and What to do to get rid of it?because it hurts real bad the same for the tough of suicides any tips and um only 18 any tips or medication to take will help me alot.:sad:

I understand what you're going through even though I am a girl. If you've been dumped 23 times by girls at the age of 18, then maybe you've not really made up your mind yet. Ladies are like shadows, when you chase them, they run away but when you turn your back, they come after you. Remember that there is a saying, "what truly belongs to you will always come back to you". Maybe it's time to forget about these girls and focus on other priorities. No girl is worth your emotions, considering these girls have already moved on.
Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't belittle yourself by claiming you are ugly. I am not asking you to be proud, but treat yourself with the respect you deserve and people will do the same. Besides, I really admire your courage to be open about your feelings, a trait i wish i had!
I dont think you're depressed, you're just going through a stage known as 'self-pity'. When love ends, life continues!

[flaco]

thanks alot I need it that my friend there is also more situation like these I keep you all posted and thanks

[Junyah]

stay good..yah?

[flaco]

I will my friend thanks

[Junyah]

Still ..Stay Good?

[flaco]

oh man another break upI can't take it no more plan b suicide :sad:
it hurts too much I can't take it

[John A]

oh man another break upI can't take it no more plan b suicide :sad:
it hurts too much I can't take it

No! Please don't! :cry:

You've got more to live for than this. Be choosy about who you pick. You deserve better than to get dumped repeatadly.

Please, please don't do it. Think about all the people who love you - you're just going to leave them behind.

[flaco]

Well but is too hard to take I try to be nice and evry girl I come around to takes advantage of me dam it

[John A]

Be nice to everyone - but that doesn't mean you have to get sucked in. Don't just give away your emotions, especially if they dump you. You've got to establish your values, because nothing is going to last in this universe...

[Junyah]

Please Don't Think the way you did earlier! Think about it some more! Go to the hospital or call and officer .. he won't arrest you ...but will talk to you when you get that way.

Stay Trying, But Learn from your experience .. Just enjoy life .. it's been so soon .. be friends with yourself .. alot of people say forgiveness and trust ... but you gotta be able to forgive and trust yourself..yah?

[jbennet]

yeah were here for you man, and if you ever feel that way then theres always smeone you can speak to like the samaritins. Just learn to get over these breakups and move on. eventually you will find a girl thats right for you.

[flaco]

update I got a girl friend lol she loves me to death omg am happy any ideas not to lose her i love her to death

[jodoe1002]

you need to make an appt with your primary care physician and discuss the emotions that you are feeling. You're not ugly dear, your pic shows a very pretty girl... depression is caused by imbalances in the brain and left untreated can lead to really bad things.... go see your doctor as soon as you can, k? they can prescribe meds, of which there are many, to help regain your focus and self esteem... lotsa luck to you....

[christina>you]

update I got a girl friend lol she loves me to death omg am happy any ideas not to lose her i love her to death

don't hold on too tight! :) and you'll do just fine.

[flaco]

thanks guys yall have given more things in life and more help thanks I will ask again any time also if you want to help me more just post here thank you

[RwCC]

I had a whole rant written out, but decided to go with this.

I'm glad that you are feeling better, albeit over a rather small reason, but just remember that everyone wants different things out of a relationship so take it slow, listen to what she wants, and whatever you do don't be clingy otherwise you will be right back here feeling depressed.

[christina>you]

Exactly what he said.. ^
Good job :)

[jbarry315]

Flaco, there have been a lot of good words posted here by a lot of good people; but, there are a few things that escaped being mentioned, which I feel are important for you to consider. One of those things is the fact that suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem. I know that's not the way it feels; but, it is, nonetheless, a fact--- and it affects a whole lot of people other than just you...

Another thing you need to do is t take a good look in the mirror and realize: Somebody is looking back at you. That somebody is still standing. That somebody is here because Somebody took time to create a one-of-a-kind person to stand in your shoes, in this time, for a certain purpose--- and nobody else can do the job... There's only one of you, and you're it... You're the only "You" we've got. You were created just as you are, because nobody else can fit where you are meant to fit or do what you can do. This discussion is all part of that. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY can take away what you've got that was given only to you. Don't throw it away.

You need to realize that you are vulnerable right now, and will be for some time. This can cause you to project more of what you think an ideal relationship should be onto the relationship you now have; and, that's not where it's at. What you have is what you have; and, it's an alive, living thing that may or may not be able to endure in the care of you and your girl together. It is not something that is going to be predictable; it takes work. Sometimes, the unexpected things that happen will be wonderful; sometimes, they won't be so great. This is to be expected in any relationship. Working through the ups and downs is what makes a relationship endure. If the meeting point between you two isn't functioning, it's not necessarily anyone's fault--- and you shouldn't feel that it is. Pooh-pooh does occur...

Something else you need to realize: NOBODY makes you feel any certain way--- those feelings are always within you... These emotions are not the product of another person, given to you. These are YOUR feelings and emotions which are only being evoked by your response to another person's actions, words, and so forth. You can't necessarily ever lose these feelings or emotions, just the capacity to allow them to manifest themselves.

You gotta realize: You are SOMEBODY. You were created for a REASON--- and that's a valuable thing. This is true REGARDLESS of the involvement in your life of anybody or anything else. People can stomp you, spit at you, threaten you, rob you, and leave you for dead; but, they can NEVER take away that value placed upon you, and the value of you yourself that was given to only you. You gotta KNOW this. The only way to "lose" it is for you, yourself, to throw it away. Nobody can get it, even if they got all the rest. Don't let go of it...

It would be wise to think about people in a different light, too. Each and every person is somebody's child. It doesn't matter who they are; somewhere, deep inside, there is still that little three-year-old little kid that was once there. That means that they have the capacity to be just as adorable as they once were. If they're not that age right now, that means that they've gotten a bit of life on them; and, it's sad to see what life can do to what was once such a beautiful child. If you can look into other people's eyes and see that little kid, then your reactions to what comes from them are totally different. You see them with compassion; and, that makes your attitude shift a little bit away from what's considered to be "adult" in society today. It tends to mellow things out, reducing the tendency to "react" rather than to "respond". The former is an animal thing; the latter is a good, human thing. When you're in the habit of doing this, life may sometimes really suck--- but you think about all those kids, and their misbehavior, and their misunderstanding, and their lack of an outlet for what they can't deal with, and you've turned yourself inside-out: And that's where you need to be. You see, you're looking "in" at yourself; and, when you're not trapped into that, things are totally different for you, and around you. That's what's meant by a lot of what's been described to you. It's the reason for talking to someone. It's the reason for getting involved in something. It's the reason for focusing on different things. It is turning yourself inside-out and giving what's in there a chance to look at the world instead of at your circumstances and your body attributes--- neither of which is "you"--- they are just things about you...

And, you need to realize that you, too, are that cute little kid that's so adorable. He's still in there. He can laugh, he can play. He can make a real mess, and he can be really funny. He gets sleepy, and sometimes he still makes a stink in his pants which everyone smells. He's a lovable guy... Don't lose him--- he's precious. He's the only one like him; and, he's irreplaceable. He has deep feelings; and, when he hurts, those who know about it hurt too. He evokes empathy from people, not sympathy. That's a good thing. And today, he's still standing. The lions didn't eat him, and he hasn't given up. That's another good thing. And the grass is growing, the bees are buzzing, the birds are singing, and the sky hasn't caved in. Life must be okay. The greatest things in the garden usually don't get that way until they're doused really good a whole lot of times with fertilizer; so, you gotta take some of the smell if you're gonna grow. Just THINK what you might become! We all have, at one time or another, been in similar situations. I, myself, have found that it takes me about ten years to get over a woman I've really, and I mean REALLY fallen for; and, the road through things is always rough. Knowing that I'm on that road THROUGH things, by choice, grants me a little power that I otherwise wouldn't have; and, all the other stuff I've mentioned is some of the stuff that kept me able to shave without cutting my own throat. It's called integrity, It's being an integrated soul. It's knowing. It's you, too. All the best. Let us know.

[christina>you]

Wow... that's really in depth....

[jbarry315]

You kinda hadda be there; and, for somebody considering going literally underground and pushing up daisies over what feels to them like a betrayal, they need every bit of artillery to be had. No bandaids will do. And, like I said--- part of his purpose was, evidently, to bring this discussion here where it will be seen and thought about by others who could get into the same type of shape, or know those who will. Everybody needs to know these things; and, they need to take them to heart. Maybe then, in one small segment of the population, a parent won't have to worry over what an SSRI is doing to their kid--- or not doing--- and dreading the result in the middle of a sleepless night... If this helps release somebody's soul from the torture they are trying on their own to endure, then the cause of Freedom can go forward--- one more day...

[christina>you]

I find freedom in my God. My religion - Christianity - is very important to me in my life. I sincerely believe that believing in God and having a personal relationship with Him can execute any feelings of suicide or death. He gives me hope, strength, and love everyday. This is my way of Freedom.

[jbarry315]

Bravo... We have the same hero... He took on all of every oppressive force, and was nailed to a tree under a curse because of it; then, dared to rise from the dead. His one message was, and still is, FREEDOM. Many seem to overlook the simplicity and reality of this, not "Living" that freedom, and the sincere Love that produced it. Such passionate commitment is never without a price; and, to not feel such passion is to refuse to live, letting the meaning elude us--- while our brother perishes. You, it seems, recognized this in the words I penned--- which aren't exactly my own, just my own rendition, in different terms, of what you know. He does, after all, "restoreth my soul". And, it is written that for each child born, an angel is stationed at the foot of the Throne to pray for him... That's something precious to keep, along with the Gifts of The Spirit. Sharing these things, and the knowledge of them, is an exercize in Faith, Hope, and Love--- and it is a "Good" thing--- especially when it is seen reflected back by someone else. Again; Bravo... You do know...