UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

--Dennis Ritchie


Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

--Ralph Johnson


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

--Fred Brooks


It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-- Steve McConnell Code Complete


The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

--Bertrand Russell


If debugging is the process of removing bugs,
Then programming must be the process of putting them in.

--Edsger Dijkstra


You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.

--Bertrand Meyer


There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

--Alan J. Perlis


Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

--Bill Gates


The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

--Tom Cargill


Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.

--Anon

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

The Six Phases of a Project:
· Enthusiasm
· Disillusionment
· Panic
· Search for the Guilty
· Punishment of the Innocent
· Praise for non-participants

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal,
When you do it in front of a live audience
The probability of a flawless presentation
Is inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

- Ronald Reagan

"If history teaches us anything, it teaches that simple-minded
appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom."

"If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will
be a nation gone under."

"Extreme taxation, excessive controls, oppressive government competition with business ...frustrated minorities and forgotten Americans are not the products of free enterprise. They are the residue of centralized bureaucracy, of government by a self-anointed elite."

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." (predicting Al Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton)

“When you see all the smoke billowing up from the Democrats, ladies and gentlemen, I'd follow the advice of their nominee; Don't Inhale.”

"You know, there are only two places where communism works: in heaven, where they don't need it, and in hell, where they've already got it."

http://www.thereaganlegacy.com

"Is our children learning?"

George W. Bush.

-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I'll be back"

"He had to split"

"I had to let him go"

"Hasta la vista, baby"

"Let off some steam, Bennet"

"It's not a tumor"

"I like you so I'll kill you last"

"Consider this a divorce"

"I eat green berets for breakfast... and right now I am very hungry"

"You have no respect for logic. And I have no respect for people with no respect for logic"

:)

The Black Knight:
"It's only a scratch"

Tim the Enchanter:
"It IS the rabbit"

King Arthur:
"A duck!"

Various ones I collected (but often didn't collect who said it):

- In order to know something is wrong, you must make an odd number of mistakes.

- The more funding a project has, the longer it takes to make the mistake that leads to the breakthrough.

- The glove can become dirty, but the dirt can't become glovy (my preacher).

- Ice hockey: kicking an ice cube around the kitchen floor (an ex-girlfrined).

- Car hockey: Figure-8 racing (Jesse James)

- Alibi: being where you weren't.

- When a body is immersed in water, the phone rings.

These are mine:

- Life as we know it is a dirty trick.

- Using the product voids the warranty.

- Every time someone perfects a foolproof device, someone else perfects a better fool.

- As soon as you tell someone the truth, somebody else changes what the truth is.

Example:
A to B: "Your box is on the kitchen table."
C enters room: "Hey! Whose box was that which I just moved from the kitchen table to the closet."

- Nothing will make a hidden defect in a digital product show up faster than releasing the product for sale will.

- A CD player is just as useless without CDs as the CDs are useless without a CD player.

- Once you standardize your music into one recording format, that format will be discontinued.

- Actions speak louder, but politicians won't shut up.

- If you set n mousetraps, the (n+1)th mouse gets all of the cheese.

- Nothing can make a job take longer than imposing a deadline does.

- A late bus is no excuse to give to an early boss.

- Never underestimate the power of stupidity.

Stupidity is reflexive, symmetric, transitive, and indestructible.

- You can tell when Democrats and Liberals have no valid argument in any debate:

That's when they start using pejoratives, calling names, twisting the words of others, and all of the other Politically Incorrect things they continually scold others for doing.

- In order to hold a class on any college campus, you first must have the permission of at least two janitors.

- Without profit, the company has absolutely no reason to hire.

- The only source of wealth is work. Neither government nor industry nor banks can create any wealth without workers. They just move it around. Gold dug out of a mine does not create any wealth, but the man who works to mine the gold, and the man who works to buy the gold do create wealth. The factory owner who works to keep the factory running also creates wealth.

- Only one of the following can exist at any one time: large government social benefits, universal health care coverage, and a "living wage". This is because the SAME MONEY has to be divided between them, and the economy generates enough wealth to supply only one of them at a time.

- Whenever government passes a regulation with the object of "helping the poor", the side effects of the regulation always hurt the poor more than the regulation helps them.

- Wage and price controls never have the intended effect.

Raising the minimum wage raises both wages and prices, effectively inflating the currency rather than raising the worker's standard of living.

- The purchase price of a product MUST pay for the raw materials that go into making the product, the labor used to make it, the power used to make it, the factory and its tools, and the wages of the people who transport it and sell it. And don't forget the TAXES on all of those things are also paid out of that purchase price.

- The only way to raise the standard of living of the poor is to not tax them as much.

- The ideal total tax rate is 10 percent. It does not place an undue burden on either business or the worker, and government actually has more spending power than it has with higher tax rates. This is because, at higher tax rates, a large percentage of the money the government spends pays taxes on making the products, instead of actually making the products the government buys.

High taxation also makes the product shoddier. This is because, after taxes, there is less money available to actually put into making it.

- Businesses pay no taxes at all on the income their businesses make or the property their businesses are on. Those taxes are all paid by the buyer when he buys the product the business sells. Landlords pay no taxes on the property they rent out. The taxes are paid by the tenant, included in the rent.

- There is a reason that all wealth is based on work, and that only the consumers really pay taxes. It is because the consumer/worker must eat and drink to live. Since this stupid planet can not produce enough food to feed all of the people without work being done, all people who can must work in order to live.

- Because government itself can do no work, it can't create any wealth. Its employees might create wealth as long as they are not making bureaucracy or regulation.

- There can be no utopia in this world. People forget that the idyllic lifestyles of the Greek and Roman civilizations were powered by slave labor. So the dreams of most Democrat voters are total fantasies, because it requires work to live.

- Art, dance, theater, music, and sports don't command the wealthy salaries they used to for all who are talented in these areas. This is because sound recording, photography, cinema, radio, television, and professional leagues have changed the markets. Now the very few very best artists, actors, musicians, dancers, and players can entertain the entire world, while the rest of those aspiring for positions in those fields are unemployed.

- If you don't have at least two copies of a file on different removable disks, you effectively don't have any copies at all.

You can't count any disk that is now in the equipment as a backup.

- If you can't get a reader for the medium, the file is lost.

- Filth is conserved: You can't get everything clean at once

- They say this book is exhaustive on the subject, but when I carry it, I say it's exhausting.

- Selective precipitation: Puddles tend to prefer locations under car doors.

-

You can prick your finger, but you can't .....

- Ronald Reagan

"If history teaches us anything, it teaches that simple-minded
appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom."

"If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will
be a nation gone under."

"Extreme taxation, excessive controls, oppressive government competition with business ...frustrated minorities and forgotten Americans are not the products of free enterprise. They are the residue of centralized bureaucracy, of government by a self-anointed elite."

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." (predicting Al Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton)

“When you see all the smoke billowing up from the Democrats, ladies and gentlemen, I'd follow the advice of their nominee; Don't Inhale.”

"You know, there are only two places where communism works: in heaven, where they don't need it, and in hell, where they've already got it."

http://www.thereaganlegacy.com

Here I thought that this thread had started out so nicely.

- Ronald Reagan

<<reagan nuttiness snipped>>

http://www.thereaganlegacy.com

Ronald Regan:
Pakistan is nowhere near getting 'the bomb' - they will never have an atomic bomb

The Contras 'are the moral equivalent of our founding fathers'

I will not negotiate with terrorists (said while selling missiles to Iran not too long after they had captured then released our embassy employees)

But enough of this silliness.

Back to my earlier question - decoy or target?

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

Give a man a fish, and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day, and his wife will finally get things done in the house without him sitting in the way all the time.

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.

--Anon

This is often attributed to Rick (Rich) Cook, author.

(I've got one or two of his books, haven't yet gotten around to read them to verify this.)

commented: Rick Cook. It's the chapter intro quote from one of his books; I think number four, but I'm not sure. +3

Give a man a fish, and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day, and his wife will finally get things done in the house without him sitting in the way all the time.

Teach a man to fish, and:

- You get rid of him on weekends.

- He starts to smell like one.

- You get a house full of fishing tackle.

- Soon there's no fish left in the lake.

- He sits in the backyard all day practicing his cast.

- Game wardens keep stopping his Mercury looking for illegal levels of fish.

"Belt your family. It's the law." (a pro-seatbelt sign along the highway)

"Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself, regardless of the facts." -- sign at a fitness center

Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

A committee is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

A meeting is where minutes are kept while hours are wasted.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
-- George Burns

A committee is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

A committee is a beast with many legs and no brain.

commented: Nicely worded +7

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.
-------Nathaniel S Borenstein

commented: excellent observation +1

Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds with the ordinary.
-- Blaise Pascal

... and now some quotes from Steve Jobs:
Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.

I think we're having fun. I think our customers really like our products. And we're always trying to do better.

I want to put a ding in the universe.

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.

Sign in a work area:

WORK CAREFULLY
ACCIDENTS CAUSE MEETINGS

Management sign over a workplace lavatory sink:
THINK!
Next day a worker's sign over the soap dish:
THOAP!

"Every second billions of innocent assembler instructions are executed all over the world. Inhumanly they are put on a pipeline and executed with no regard to their feelings. The illegal instructions are spared, although they should be executed".

"Every second billions of innocent assembler instructions are executed all over the world. Inhumanly they are put on a pipeline and executed with no regard to their feelings. The illegal instructions are spared, although they should be executed".

You should bring this mass execution without proper trial to the attention of the authorities!

Management sign over a workplace lavatory sink:
THINK!
Next day a worker's sign over the soap dish:
THOAP!

And the day after:
OR THWIM

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
- Walt Disney

"When going gets tough ... the tough gets going."


"When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup." :)