When women go wrong, men go right after them.
(Mae West)

I am really much too young to say that.

I like this one:

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

If the mission is tough we will achieve it.If the mission is impossible it will take some time.

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.
(Robert Paul)

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Courtesy of Diana Jordan

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.
Albert Einstein

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein

Since it is the time of the year again when many US citizens slave over their complicated tax forms:

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein

Another quote from dear Albert:

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
... Albert Einstein

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
-- from the expert of the English language George Carlin

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
-- Will Rogers

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein

Gee vegaseat, you must like old Albert!

There is hope for the math challenged:

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein

Ouch:

How can I believe in God, when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-- Woody Allen

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- Winston Churchill

"cuando sueño contigo no hablo, sino que canto en sueños". is one of my favorite quote.

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Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
~~~ Henry Ford

"cuando sueño contigo no hablo, sino que canto en sueños". is one of my favorite quote.

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I dream for a living.
-- Steven Spielberg

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- Winston Churchill

The version I've always heard goes something like this:
(Participants: LA = Lady Astor, WC = Churchill)

LA: Winston, you're drunk.
WC: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober.


And another one listed on her ladyship's wikipedia page:

And in another similar instance with Winston Churchil in his fabled tangle with Lady Astor, who'd allegedly said she'd probably sleep with him for a £1 million.

When Winston suggested £10, Astor snorted: "What kind of woman do you think I am?"

To which Winston is said to have replied: "We've established what you are; now we're just haggling over the price."

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to the office.
-- Robert Frost

I love Thanksgiving turkey ... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Quoted by Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
~~~ Galileo Galilei

Until justice is blind to color, until education is unaware of race, until opportunity is unconcerned with the color of men's skins, emancipation will be a proclamation but not a fact.
Quoted by Lyndon B. Johnson

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
(by George Bernard Shaw)

War settles nothing.
(Dwight D. Eisenhower)

People react to fear, not love; they don't teach that in Sunday School, but it's true.
-- Richard M. Nixon

Black holes are places where god divided by zero.
by Steven Wright


I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.
by Arthur C. Clarke

commented: Nice Quote +3

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein

Ah, another nice quote from good old Albert!

To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.
-- Theodore Roosevelt