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Reverend Jim 6,665 Hi, I'm Jim, one of DaniWeb's moderators.

Before I enrolled in Computer Science at the University of Manitoba I spent several months in Engineering in Saskatoon. It was a hellish time (my first extended time away from home) in a strange city with no friends. I did make one good friend named Hugh Baker. He was the only bright spot in an otherwise miserable situation. He was a veterinary student, a poet, and a part time drummer with the local symphony, and he had a wit second to none. I lasted from September until mid February before packing it in and returning home. Sadly, we never kept in touch. This was 1972 - years before the internet and email.

In 1981 I decided to take a road trip from Winnipeg to the west coast of Canada. While passing through Saskatoon I made a stop to see if my old friend was still living there. Finding him in the phone book I called him up and, in a thickly disguised voice I said "Hugh Baker?"

He replied, "Yes. Who is this?"

I responded (still disguised), "All in good time, Hugh Baker."

He immediuately said "Jim!"

We got together for several hours and renewed our friendship. Eventually though I had to hit the road and resume my trek west. Upon returning home two weeks later I got engaged and somehow marriage, and then family kept me focused on the home front.

Last week at the cottage for reasons unknown to me my friend came once again to mind. Thinking it would be nice to contact him and catch up I googled "Hugh J. Baker DVM". To my shock and dismay the first thing that came up was his obituary. He had passed away less than three months before. He was the same age as me - 62. I would never have the chance to see my good friend again.

If you have a friend or loved one that you haven't talked to in a some time, assuming that there will always be time - not now, but maybe in a year or so - to get together, don't put it off. Do it now because "some day" may end up being one day too late.

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ddanbe commented: This good advice, makes my day! +0
rproffitt commented: Friends made and lost during our journey add joy and light to our path. +0

Dani AI

Generated

As ’s post makes plain, letting "someday" slide can lead to real regret. Reconnecting rarely needs a grand plan—just a modest, respectful outreach and a bit of persistence. The notes below offer practical, low-friction steps for locating someone, short sample messages that fit different channels, and sensible ways to respond to whatever outcome emerges.

A sensible search order begins with mutual contacts (classmates, former coworkers, family), then moves to alumni or professional directories and active social profiles (LinkedIn, Facebook). Local community archives or news sites can help when public involvement is likely. Any lead should be validated against a second source and handled with privacy in mind; personal data should not be broadcast.

Initial contact works best when brief: identify self and the shared context, mention one specific memory as a hook, and propose a low-pressure next step. Examples:

  • Email/DM: "Hi [Name], this is [Full Name] — we met at [context]. I was thinking about [short memory] and wanted to say hello. If a catch-up makes sense, send a note or call me at [number]."
  • Voicemail opener: "Hi [Name], it’s [Full Name]. I’ll follow up by message — hope all is well."

A single polite follow-up after a few weeks is reasonable; if silence persists, treat that as a boundary. If the search reveals the person has died, a brief condolence to close family or a quiet personal remembrance is appropriate. For longer-term prevention, a simple habit (quarterly reminders to touch base with a few old friends) keeps connections alive and reduces future regret.

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