Posts by ndeniche

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:

"Dad, what is Windows 95?".

"Well, it's 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit
patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit
microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit
of competition."

hmmm... i'd never forgive anyone, even if the game took me months to mate...

that might happen sometimes if you download an ISO image from a torrent...

ave you tried copying the mysql.h file to vc++'s include folder?

cool... :P

why would you offer a draw then?

that's ironic... don't cats eat fish too? i guess the fish will be even more scared...

i caged my fish and it didn't work... one of my theories is that he was scared of the mouse...

ohh... thnx... i didn't know that... :P

A pastor of a church who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as "she"; and "her". He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 5 reasons for their recommendation.

1. The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
2. 
   
3. They have a lot of data, but they are still clueless.
4. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half of the time, they ARE the problem.
5. As soon as you commit to one, you realize if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
6. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
7. A big power surge will knock them out for the rest of the night.

1. The men, on the other hand, concluded that Computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
2. 
   
3. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
4. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
5. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
…

here it is... it just happened again... i wanted to reply and it said the same thing...

3270

or maybe he just sucked worse than you... :D (kidding)

ohhh... very clever... thnx dude...

hey, you know... there's a honduran guy that's
getting to play with beckham... he was just contracted by the same team after the Gold Cup...

man, your cat is smart... i can't get my fish to get past level one... (he screwed up my keyboard once...)

erm... no one has put any racial comments... s.o.s. meant that phrase in another way...

i hit edit... about 20 times...

actually, what i was trying to edit was a quote, where i missed the opening bracket in [quote]

while i was trying to edit my post (cuz i missed one bracket), when i tried to save my changes, there was a message box telling me my message was to short, to increase its length to 1 character... what the heck is that?

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Booze and drugs were being passed around. Fights were commonplace. Sanitation conditions were appalling. All in all, the scene looked like Woodstock gone metastatic.
Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens, face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the voice of any clerk in any overgrown bureaucracy. "My name is Gabriel and I'll be your induction coordinator." Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel interrupted him. "No, I'm not the Archangel Gabriel. I'm just a guy from Philadelphia named Gabriel who died in a car wreck at the age of 17. Now give me your name, last name first, unless you were Chinese in which case it's first name first."
"Gates, Bill." Gabriel started searching though the sheaf of papers on his clipboard, looking for Bill's Record of Earthly …

question: could this shutdown be executed through internet?

actually, i've already solved that problem (most of the times i wouldn't have, but i was in a good mood :D)...

haha... i love this one 'cuz it's so true...

How to keep us (IT Guys) happy:

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We …

what if we do a classifying round from several small groups too see who gets to play the tournament?

i love geek jokes... they are those jokes other people wouldn't understand...

lets see this one for example...

A detailed explanation of sex for the computer literate and real life illiterate.

Think of sex as a new protocol developed for real world communication and interaction between members of the opposite sex, much as TCP/IP allows all makes and models of computers to communicate and interface.

In this example, let's represent the woman as a Windows computer. A bit flighty, fun to look at, and occasionally does something useful. In the same way, the man will be represented as a DOS system. Not impressive looking, rough around the edges, but it can get the job done as long as you're patient.
Let's say the DOS system wants to interface with the Windows box. In this case, the two units could be in a crowded bar, represented here as a busy toking ring.

The DOS system attempts to open communication with a simple SMPT style message, in this case, HELLO. The Windows box generates a random number via an unknown internal process, and in some instances, responds with a similar HELLO message.
At other times, the Windows box fails to respond at all, either due to the initial HELLO message being lost in the network traffic, background noise, or due to internal conflicts in the Windows box's memory . In this case, let's assume the initial message was received and responded to.

The next step is a simple …

say, every month?

i don't hang out @ the irc and i was extremely boosted...

actually, it makes sense... though, if i write it in DEV it tells me it's deprecated...

ohh... right... maybe later we'll get the results...

i lost against jocamps... it was an amazing match... nice played dude...

sorry... my bad...

00111111 01111001 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101001 01100010 00100000 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100100 01110010 01100001 01110111 01101011 01100011 01100001 01100010 00100000 01101001 01101001 01100011 01110011 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101110 01101001 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110110 01101110 01101111 01100011 00100000 01110100 01110101 01101111 01100010 01100001 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101000 01110111 00100110 00100011 00110110 00110101 00110101 00110011 00110011 00111011

yeah... i'm @ social -> social lounge 3

me playing jocamps now... any witnesses?

i know you are willing to share some of that with me... just say yes...

specifically what would you want to know?

arrays are transferred by value to a function, and functions are called by other functions just as integers or floats would be...

ok. I have looked over my notes and this seems to be functioning. I cannot however get the division function to work.

Any suggestions??

//*************************************************************************
//                  Include Files
//*************************************************************************
#include <iostream>
#include <iomanip>
using namespace std;
//*************************************************************************
//                  Function Prototypes follow
//*************************************************************************
int first();
int second();
double quotient(int, int);
//*************************************************************************
//                 Variable declarations
//*************************************************************************

//*************************************************************************
//                 Main
//*************************************************************************
int main()
{                   
    int a, b;
    first();
    second();
    quotient(a, b);

    return 0;
}            
//*************************************************************************
//                  Function Declarations
//*************************************************************************

int first()
{
     int employees;
     cout << "How many employees work here? ";
     cin >> employees;
     cout << "Number of employees is: " << employees << endl;
     while (employees < 2.0)
     {
                   cout << "Enter at least 2 employees to average!! ";
                   cin >> employees;
     }
     return 0;
}

int second()
{
     int days;
     
     cout << "How many days off has each employee taken? ";
     cin >> days;
     cout << "Number of days off is: " << days << endl;
     while (days < 0)
     {
                   cout << "Please enter a positive number: ";
                   cin >> days;
     }
     return 0;
}

double quotient(int a, int b)
{
    int r, employees, days;
    a = employees;
    b = days;
    r=b/a;
    cout << "Days off average is " << r << endl;
    return 0;
}

i don't understand why initialize employees and days, since you already have those values called from the main function...
i also don't understand why making this function a double if you are returning 0...
this is basic... i wonder how bad …

nah... rules are rules... s*** happens...

hahaha... i'm more like a latest technology games guy... with extremely great effects and stuff...

if that's about our match, nah... no big deal... we have to play again... so?

if it's not, i don't know what the heck you're talking about... :P

now you just have to create a character or integer array to store every separate digit...

either way... you're easily amused...

lol

just write a little prgram that generates 1000 numbers between 10 and 100 using rand() % 100 + 10 to generate the numbers and save them to a file. Then you can write the other program as your teacher instructed.

actually it would be rand()%90 + 10

not until tomorrow...

omg... it must be worldwide then... haha... here we're all screwed up and all they do is put their fat asses on expensive chairs, waiting for the day to end...

there is a function in c++ called strlen() which tells you the length of an array... if not, you can use a while loop with a counter that exits when array[i]=='\0'

i didn't get the idea of the plastic bags in a bundle? how did you do that?

near my house there were several (i don't know what do you call them, but they're like really small stores, to buy things like milk, candies, and basic stuff...) stores, where they had a bag full with about 20 or 30 plastic footballs... costing each about $.10... after that, we started buying leather balls...

have you tried storing the ip address in a string, and then using it in the system call? BTW... you should try using a more specific title next time...

boy, you're easily amused... i've seen better graphics in a pac-man game (the first ones from atari)...