need new "c++ database" books or tutorial sites

Why? Who told you c++ was a nice language to use databases?
Wrong tool for the job unless you're working for google.

please explain

You can use c++ but it's somewhat complicated. A lot easier if you use C# or VB.NET. If you want to use MySQL database then they have a c++ class for that named MySQL++. For Microsoft Access you can read any of these tutorials.

The most generic way to access SQL databases is via ODBC - tutorials here

Tutorial ebook for VB.NET. I found this ebook very helpful and explains well.