any one with an idea of how to embed a player such as VLC on my page. or else how can people play music that is within my server..any resources such as sites or books on how to do this will be highly appreciated..

thanx, but is there no other way apart from this because by using flash am limited to the extensions they can play and to there own skins

You also can try JavaScript players. But I guess you still be limited to certain extensions... I haven't seen any "universal" player so far.
You can check this topic. Almostbob gives a code of a player with a files list.

If you don't need IE support, you might check HTML5 advantages for playing media.