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A post by tgreer gave me an idea. How about you post an original tech-related poem. Any type will do (limerick, haiku, sonnet..etc.) I'll start:

Silence is broken
A loud swear in frustration
The blue screen of death

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Last Post by maydhyam
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haha i posted a thread like this, but alc didnt think it was going to take off, oh well. here goes nothing

Bill Gates is really
rich and stupid but I buy
His products alot

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Is rap OK?

Here's one I did a while back in answer to a reader question for my work site :

Disaster Rap!


I turned on my PC ‘cause I wanted to have fun
Wouldn’t you just know it, an error message come
It said ‘Check your consistency and I said ‘Hey
I do the damned same thing nearly every bloody day!

I told the thing ‘OK’ and it started to whirr and grind
When I got to the desktop not a damned thing could I find.
Then another message popped up saying a file was bloody missed
Then another and another and I started to feel pissed
So I rebooted my PC, not to be outdone
But no files on the Hard Drive, not a SINGLE BLOODY ONE!

I thought “I know what’s happened, I’ve been done by hacker kids
“I’ll fix em, just watch me. They’ll soon be on the skids
So I popped my CD in to format my hard drive
Install Windows, get it clean again and now it looks alive.
Downloading all those updates gonna be an awful grind
Dial-up bloody DoDo sure does take it’s blasted time.


I’m feeling pretty clever, gonna have a little brag
I’ll write to PC User, try to get into their mag.
Typed it out just dandy, every tiny little bit
I’m smiling as I send it, but what’s that…….. OH BLOODY SH*T!

My face is red, I’m sweating as I utter words obscene
Because I’m sitting here watching an empty blasted screen.
Take it off down to the workshop to see what has gone wrong
Oh dear, they just told me, the Hard Drive’s had the gong!

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Is rap OK?

Here's one I did a while back in answer to a reader question for my work site :

Don't forget me in the background doing the beat box!

pft pft *HUH* pft pft pft *HUH* pft pft *HUH* A-hubba-hubba pft A-hubba-hubba (scritchy-scritchy-scritchy)

Word to your motherboard. :cool:

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I'll tell of a man's new machine
That had not a virus; pristine
Then some hacker thug
Gave a really bad bug
And now the machine is unclean

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I bought an external harddrive
and it makes me wanna cry
you see, it makes a ticking sound
and it's pass warranty, so I am bound
I stare at it asking myself what to do
when all I can think of I'm gonna have to fix you.

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I got one:

I'm sitting here looking at the same screen,
all I see is the same thing
I click and click and not a thing blinks
I know I know comes to mind
I'll ctrl alt del tab tab and tab
nothing still.
Maybe is time to pull the cord.
Now I see how much I've been missing outside of this screen.

By: Emilio Vinueza

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I'm sitting here looking at the same screen,
all I see is the same thing
I click and click and not a thing blinks
I know I know comes to mind
I'll ctrl alt del tab tab and tab
nothing still.
Maybe is time to pull the cord.
Now I see how much I've been missing outside of this screen.

Very good :)

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I can't go to sleep yet,
someone on the internet is wrong

<from xkcd - doesn't rhyme but contains universes>

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I am trying to regrip
reality has lost me
memory fades, time fades
I have lost me
chipsets, mainboards and such
please be gone
for i am now blind to the world

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sitting here thinking of what to write so i can get mashka to say something to me like "thats hot!"

it hasn't occured to me so i guess i'll let it be.

Do you think she will notice me?

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I got this via email....I don't know who made it up...

A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocketknife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
No one's been killed in a computer crash
But it makes their face turn red!

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electrons jump from atom to atom
creating currents of infinite possibility
The world once vast is now shrunken
by the smallest thing known to man

aahhhhh not bad i guess, if i do say so myself. ;)

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MilliAmpere met MicroFarad and they fluxed all night (there was a whole long poem that I learned in USMC as a mnemonic for electronics class but this is all I can remember of it, sigh)

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Computer Swallowed Grandma
Submitted by: Beverly Faith
Author: unknown

The computer swallowed grandma,
Yes, honestly it's true.
She pressed "control" and "enter"
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
and files of every kind:
I've even used the Internet,
but nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found "online".

So, if inside your "Inbox",
My Grandma you should see,
Please "Copy", "Scan" and "Paste" her
And send her back to me!

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Up To Date
Submitted by: Peace
Author: Robert Byers

A 28k modem is slower than fate
A 386 is a paperweight
A 4x CD is not so great
But my love for you is up to date

A 5 inch floppy is hard to find
A 12 inch screen will leave you blind
An all DOS system is way behind
But my love for you is the modern kind

The pace of change is getting faster
The new technology is hard to master
Today's new computer will be out to pasture
But losing you would be real disaster

I can make it fine with my old stuff
So much of the new is merely fluff
I'll never be a technology buff
But since I have you I have enough.

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this one ain't mine, it's Monzy's and it's great:

Your mom circulates like a public key,
Servicing more requests than HTTP.
She keeps all her ports open like Windows ME,
Oh, there's so much drama in the PhD.

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or this one: poem();

string poem( )
{ static int c = 0, a;

  if(c<3)
  {c++;
    std::cout << "roses are red\n";
    return poem(); 
  }
  else
  {return "I'm recursive";}

}
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Up To Date
Author: Robert Byers

A 28k modem is slower than fate
A 386 is a paperweight
A 4x CD is not so great
But my love for you is up to date

A 5 inch floppy is hard to find
A 12 inch screen will leave you blind
An all DOS system is way behind
But my love for you is the modern kind

The pace of change is getting faster
The new technology is hard to master
Today's new computer will be out to pasture
But losing you would be real disaster

I can make it fine with my old stuff
So much of the new is merely fluff
I'll never be a technology buff
But since I have you I have enough.

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