0

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

Element : WOMEN

Symbol : Wo

Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary
from 30-200 kg.

Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. Boils at room temperature

2. Freezes without any known reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.

5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range
of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of
expensive substances.

2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning
and for no known reason.

3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly
increases by that.

4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be great aid to relaxation.


TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.


POTENTIAL HAZARD

illegal to possess more than one, although several
can be maintained at different locations as long as
specimens do not come in direct contact with
each other.


!! WARNING !!


PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS

11
Contributors
17
Replies
18
Views
12 Years
Discussion Span
Last Post by 1o0oBhP
0

Now chemists should be experimenting with WoSO4, WoCl, WoNO3, WoOH etc.

I love chemistry but I'm afraid of this element.wooooh.

0

Prefix: this isn't a complaint, just an observation....

These kinds of jokes are lots of fun on joke sites and when you send them to your friends in email. But on a site devoted all things computing, where the viewers are international and of all kinds, it seems like we're on thin ice making broad and generally false charactorizations of large categories of people.

It just seems somehow inapropriate in the general forums; maybe we can make a humor forum and lump all of these kinds of things there. I'd hate for someone to be insulted by a humorously-intended remark and not visit the forum again.

Maybe this joke isn't offensive to most women, I don't know. But I can tell you that if you told this joke at work in the USA you could be fired if someone complained about it. So, maybe Dani can set up an area for this kind of stuff so that folks can easily avoid it if they so choose.

It *is* funny, but that's not my point.

0

Hello,

I am a guy, and I find it acceptable. I find "acceptable" if I would not have a problem standing up in church and telling it. If there was sex, or hateful remarks in it, the person would be banned.

There are a lot of jokes out there abound... things like this, or the Girlfriend Software one, or the Darwin awards.

But there are a lot of overly sensitive people out there too. I think there are times that society is just overly sensitive. I wonder if we are turning into cultural weenies that need to take everything to court.

I get offended when the driver in front of my car tosses his cigarette butt out the window and I drive into it because I am behind him. That driver, at least in Wisconsin, is liable for $200 for littering. But I don't call on the cell with the license plate information. I have accepted this act against my property... likewise I hope others accept various 'acts' and get over it.

Christian

0

I think any woman finding this offensive does so because she recognises herself all too well and is deep down ashamed of the fact ;)

0

I'm a girl, and I didn't find it offensive at all. I think some people are just too sensitive and take things too far and too personally sometimes. It's just a joke. :)

0

right on! that is 7 for and 1 against. "geeks lounge" if ya cant lounge here, then where can you lounge? Now if this showed up in Tech Talk, that would be inappropriate.

0

Agreed. (And is my vote the only one that matters? just kidding!) I think the Geek's Lounge is meant for off-topic chat such as this. :)

0

Agreed. (And is my vote the only one that matters? just kidding!) I think the Geek's Lounge is meant for off-topic chat such as this. :)

Yes ofcourse cuz you'll be the one who will decide finally what to do :cheesy: :mrgreen:

0

Another new element in the Periodic Table: (Just trying to be fair) :lol:

Element: MAN

Symbol: XY

Common Name(s): Varies anywhere from John to !@#&*!

Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 100

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily
gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging
samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as
young, fresh samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it
can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a
prolonged period of time. Pretty basic. Very simple.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able
to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.

0

lol nice! if only though... Wo, MAN and other comedy elements wouldve made Chemistry A-Level MUCH easier... ;)

0

Our chem teacher managed to set fire to the fume cupboard and most of himself after messing with a bunsen. :) and as for random, my uni lecturer walked out of the class, went across the grass. picked up stones, came back, put them on the bench, threw them at us for a display of what randomness was!

0

lmao, good times!! That is my kind of teacher....the one who threw stones that is. The dude who caught himself on fire is just an idiot.

0

yeah he was pretty bad. I was 1 mark off an A @ a-level too... :( the uni teacher teaches materials, which is using a lot of chemistry a-level knowledge funnily enough...

This topic has been dead for over six months. Start a new discussion instead.
Have something to contribute to this discussion? Please be thoughtful, detailed and courteous, and be sure to adhere to our posting rules.