0

If there are any scandinavians around, you'll like this medieval tech support (also with english sub-titles):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQOf20Xrd1o

And here's a joke:
A pastor takes a stroll in the public market on a sunday afternoon. He sees a boy standing next to a wooden box, so he walks up, and sees a bunch of puppies in the box, so, he says "what a cute bunch of puppies you have there". The boy replies "Yeah, they're christian puppies.". "Huu, how nice.." replies the pastor, and continues on his way.
The next sunday, the pastor is in the market again, now with his wife. He sees the same boy with the box, so he says "come honey, I want you to meet this delightful young man". They walk up, pet the puppies, and the wife says "what a cute bunch of puppies you have there". The boy replies "Yeah, they're atheist puppies.". "What!" cries the pastor, "they were christian puppies last week!". The boy says "Yeah, but now they're old enough to open their eyes".

0

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak.
-- Ted Nugent

0

What is the difference between Orange and Apple?
Orange's color is orange but Apple's color is not apple.

0

If there are any scandinavians around, you'll like this medieval tech support (also with english sub-titles):

OK here is the absolute classic from Finland by Spede (now deceased, unfortunately) about more modern thing: Hardware store. Language is unfortunately only Finnish, but art is without language, isn't it? I think you get the point, anyway.

Maybe it reminds you of some of your service experiences even it is not about computers ;)

0

Here is one straight from wikipedia:

There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

1

Variation:

There are 10 types of people, those who understand ternary, those who do not and those who think this is a binary joke.

1

Layman: Hey dude, what's with the sad face?

Programmer: I had a programming competition this weekend, I ranked at the number 1 position...

Layman: That's great! Congrats! But why are you disappointed?

Programmer: I was aiming for the number 0 position!

0

There are 10 types of people, those who understand ternary, those who do not and those who think this is a binary joke.

That's great. I'm so tweeting this!

0

A travelling salesman drives into a farmer's yard. As he gets out of the car he sees a three-legged pig walking by the barn. As the farmer comes over to greet him the salesman says, "I'm here to show you the new seed catalog but before I do I have to ask you about your three-legged pig".

The farmer says, "let me tell you about that great pig. Last fall I was out on the tractor when my back wheels got stuck in the mud and my rig flipped. I was trapped underneath and I mighta died except that pig saw what happened. He ran back to the yard and squealed and squealed until my wife came out to see what was wrong. That pig saved my life."

"Yeah", says the salesman, "but why does he only have three legs?"

"Let me tell you about that great pig", says the farmer. "Last month my wife and I had a late supper and went to bed. She forgot to turn the stove off and she left the window open. The breeze blew the curtains over the stove and they caught fire. That great pig smelled the smoke and squealed until we all woke up. We were able to put the fire out. That pig saved all our lives."

"Yeah", says the salesman, "but why does he only have three legs?"

"Hey", said the farmer, "a great pig like that you don't want to eat all at once."

0

A 60 year-old woman is walking through the park alone one day when she hears a voice saying "you will live to be a hundred".

"Who is this", says the woman.

"This is the Lord", says the voice, "and you will live to be a hundred".

Thinking about it, the woman decides that if she is going to be around another 40 years, she might as well look her best so she invests in lipo-suction, a nose job, a face lift and tummy-tuck, a boob-lift, basically a complete makeover. After she has recovered from her procedures she goes for a walk to show off the new look. As she crosses the street she is hit by a car. As she is laying in the street dying she says, "but Lord, you said I would live to be a hundred. Why would you allow me to be struck down like this?".

God replies, "I didn't recognize you."

0

A scientist working outside San Diego is researching aging and how to delay it. He has decided that with the proper diet, aging can be suspended. In order to test this hypothesis he has tried various diets on porpoises and discovered that they show little or no signs of aging when fed a diet consisting mainly of ground up seagull meat.

One day after his weekly trip to the seashore to look for dead seagulls, he returns to his lab carrying his bag of birds only to find that a lion has escaped from the San Diego Zoo and fallen asleep on his doorstep. Not wanting to wake the fierce creature, he tucks the bag under one arm and carefully steps over the lion. Once inside he phones animal control to retrieve the lion. Instead, the police come and arrest him - for transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

0

One Sunday morning, everyone in the small town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the towns people were sitting and chatting about their lives, their families, etc., when suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in an effort to get away from evil incarnate. Everyone quickly evacuated the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that Jesus's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Do you not know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried,
"Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 15 years."

This topic has been dead for over six months. Start a new discussion instead.
Have something to contribute to this discussion? Please be thoughtful, detailed and courteous, and be sure to adhere to our posting rules.