Ubuntu Spelunkers Return to Redmond Cave

khess 0 Tallied Votes 725 Views Share

It was a cold November morning, leaves covered the now yellowed grass, the dog's water stood frozen, two little winter birds fluffed their feathers while sitting on a low tree branch outside my kitchen window and the smell of coffee began to fill my nostrils telling me that it's time to quell my yawns. The cold stillness of that serenity broke when I heard a blood-curdling scream from the depths of one of the caves at the other end of the house. A sound so irritating that it burned through my head like a laser beam. It was the cry of an Ubuntu Spelunker, a cave dweller, whose frustrations had left him on the brink of performing a river dance (clogs and all) upon the laptop that kindled his anger.

"What?" I asked in caffeine-deprived disgust, "What is it now?"

I heard an array of expletives and thrashing about that would make Seth Rogen blush (or at least give him dialog for his next film).

I'll paraphrase his rant to save you the burning sensation of his hell-bound diatribe. This laptop doesn't work! It won't print, these programs aren't compatible with my school and our project website doesn't work right with FireFox. Can you please fix it?

I looked at the little freckle-faced, red-headed four year-old with tears in his eyes and squeaked out a belabored, "Sure, I'll fix it." I had to say yes because that cute little face was looking at me from a panting, six-foot-one inch, 200 pound, 13 year-old frame that looked like something from "The Attack of the Giant Gingers." What else could I say?

I did suggest that we try upgrading to Ubuntu 9.10 to see if that would work better for him and his cave-dwelling sibling but the answer was a gentle and sweet, "No thank you."

I spent the next two hours reimaging, patching, rebooting, restoring and regurgitating at my actions. I returned the laptop to him with a ready-to-break Windows XP complete with Microsoft Office 2003. For his (and mine) own sake, I also decorated it with Avast antivirus and Spybot Search & Destroy anti-spyware software.

That was two weeks ago. I haven't heard so much as a "darn it" from either cave dweller since I performed that twisted and shameful act. Forgive me for I have sinned a great sin.

xyz@1 0 Newbie Poster

Your dog has rabies!
Your dog bit you!
You got rabies!
... and then you wrote this rubbish!

Crash~Override 0 Junior Poster

....so you are a literature major? xD

khess 95 Practically a Master Poster

Ha, no but I thought I'd let you know that I can write awesome prose as well as awesome tech analysis.

Crash~Override 0 Junior Poster

I dont know about awesome tech analysis, but reading a last couple of your articles has convinced me of your literary potential (yes i am referring to this and Android shmandroid one)

Anyways...Seriously, its really good to have writing skills especially while writing tech analysis...cuz really who wants to read a pages full of Martian Language

mich.linux.guy 0 Newbie Poster

Two weeks is hardly anything to be proud of. You will probably find yourself reinstalling Windows every few months for the foreseeable future. (This has been my experience.) Alternatively, you could have easily configured Ubuntu to solve those issues and enjoyed a future of bliss. This shortcut will come back to haunt you.

khess 95 Practically a Master Poster

Linux works fine for you and me but not for them. They want iTunes, phone connectivity and compatibility with all their friends. Surprisingly few of their friends are Mactards...that seems to be the young college crowd but the high school/junior high set are all into Windows.

tiger86 16 Posting Pro

Yes most young people and ignorant older people are window-holics. I'm on Windows right now but I spend most of my time on my Ubuntu with WINE installed so I can run some of those programs. A good OS for those who want to be free from windows but want itunes and everything should use pure WINE. I haven't tried it myself yet. I really liked your cross of great literature and tech here.

linuxdave 0 Newbie Poster

I'm not sure if it's literary skills or just a flare for the drammatic. :P

maria alejandr 0 Newbie Poster


maria alejandr 0 Newbie Poster

la mejor

linux_ed 0 Newbie Poster

I'm not sure which version of ubuntu you where on however the only thing I find dissatisfying with Ubuntu is the lack of webcam support. other than that I never had an issue. I've had my 15yr old daughter using it blissfully for many years.

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