You "cannot access your system" -? What is your system? Your web server? Do you mean a browser connection timeout? Or which kind of error?
Are those manual mysql server restarts in the log? Or are they induced by the safe_mysqld script? If the latter, the question is, why keeps mysqld restarting?
Run "top" or "uptime" on both servers and catch the output. Which server has the really high load - the database or the web server?