LOL, there is no such thing! Sorry, you came on the wrong place.
Best way to get knowledge is to try to use it in practice. SO has a plenty of questions about C# books/sites/tutorials. Learning pattern is really simple: read a little bit of information on C# and try to write small program that uses this information. Don't try to understand the whole thing at once, grok it by small pieces and in a couple of weeks you'll get enough knowledge to write meaningful programs.
But in case, if you want to spend a couple of days more then only a few day, you can start to buy some books (or at least one), you can start here. Check for great books on amazon.com. This is the link to one great book I am currently reading (C# 2008 Step by Step; there is 2010 version too). On amazon.com you can find many, many books about programming. But the thing is, THERE IS NO FAST WAY of learing programming. It will take time, especially if you dont know any other programming language. If you do, it will be simplier and shorter learning, but in any case you will have to be patient.
btw, there is one great link of the most popular threads on StackOverflow here.
FYI: I started learning C# in 2008. Did not need it for my work, so I did a bit relaxed and more on a "hobby" basis. Still don't completly have it in my fingers, but Daniweb(and other resources like MSDN) are a great help!
Your not going to learn C# in a few days without some previous programming experience in another language.
If your willing to take the time to learn C# the best way to do so is probably by buying a good book, reading it typing up all the examples and then try editing them to do something different. This is how i learn new languages and it seems to work for me.
LOL Not going to happen Programming takes time and practice. It's not something that you can read a book and be an expert on. Even the greatest of programmers still learn something new from time to time. I would suggest getting a good book and reading it. checking out tutorials here on DaniWeb and on codeproject.com. What type of programs do you plan to Develop? WinForm, WPF, Asp.Net, Azure? Are the programs going to deal more with web or fileSystem's? Do you plan on using Database's and if so Sql, Oracle, SQlite? There's a lot of thought and planning that goes into programming. I would say you will spend 70% of your time planning what is going to go into the code, how the code should be structured, should there be ,(Application Extensions(Dll's), plugins, skins) and much more. Also if you will want to look into Classes, interface's, and most defiantly oop. This is just a few of the things I could think of off the top of my head hope this helps you out and Happy Coding!!:)