I've just found you all (lurking here in this quiet little corner of the Internet!) and thought I'd join and see what delights there are to be learned here.

As an Intro, you can read my profile (yeah, I actually filled it in with information!) and as guide to my (normally 'slightly' unbalanced) state of mind and sense of humour - here's an oldie but goodie that always make me smile...

The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have
stolen countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult
to remember which language you're using. This guide is offered as a
public service to help programmers in such dilemmas.

{point C} You shoot yourself in the foot.

{point Assembly} You crash the OS and overwrite the root
disk. The system administrator arrives and shoots you in the
foot. After a moment of contemplation, the administrator
shoots himself in the foot and then hops around the room
rabidly shooting at everyone in sight.

{point C++} You accidentally create a dozen instances of
yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency
medical care is impossible since you can't tell which are
bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and
saying, "that's me, over there."

{point Ada} If you are dumb enough to actually use this
language, the United States Department of Defense will kidnap
you, stand you up in front of a firing squad, and tell the
soldiers, "Shoot at his feet."

{point Modula/2} After realizing that you can't actually
accomplish anything in the language, you shoot yourself in
the head.

{point sh, csh,etc.} You can't remember the syntax for
anything, so you spend five hours reading man pages before
giving up. You then shoot the computer and switch to C.

{point Smalltalk} You spend so much time playing with the
graphics and windowing system that your boss shoots you in
the foot, takes away your workstation, and makes you develop
in COBOL on a character terminal.

{point APL} You hear a gunshot, and there's a hole in your
foot, but you don't remember enough linear algebra to
understand what the hell happened.

:cheesy:

Hope to speak to some (or even all) of you in the future.

Regards

Kevin aka Kamshot

Recommended Answers

All 4 Replies

{point Ada} If you are dumb enough to actually use this
language, the United States Department of Defense will kidnap
you, stand you up in front of a firing squad, and tell the
soldiers, "Shoot at his feet."

It never happened to me!

LOL! Very cute :) But here's the thing. How long does it take to figure out that you can't trust a programmer with a gun?

Hello all, Harpy in the house. A novice programmer. I'm currently tackling C++ and Visual Basic in my spare time. I hope this will be a place where I can learn and eventually collaberate.

Hi Kevin and Harpy both (sounds like a new sitcom in the making), and a very warm welcome to DaniWeb.

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