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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.

Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

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hilariously amusing
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Last Post by bumsfeld
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Hehehe, sounds all sooooo true. I've only been going for 12 years, and the system is getting old. Can not afford a new OS or upgrades unfortunately, no internet, wireless or ANY connection for that matter, which means I'm stuck with this MBoard, memory and processing speed.;)

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Got to admit my system is getting pretty old too, but has been very reliable throught the years with few breakdowns and no hard drive crashes. If this one stops working permanently I'm not going to bother with a new one because it will take too much time to educate and train it the way I want.

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If this one stops working permanently I'm not going to bother with a new one because it will take too much time to educate and train it the way I want.

True, I also believe the new ones comes with features like self training and learning, picks up viruses much quicker etc. etc. and they cost ten times more than the old ones. Have to stick with what we have. LOL

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And many new ones have cell phones pre-installed and ready to go any time day or night.

Are you talking about wife or girlfriend?

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I had a laugh about this last night with my wife. An even more funnier remark was "AND, you can not even format me and re-install all the wares again". I cracked myself...:)

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