(and oldie, but a goldie)

  • Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.
  • Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  • This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
  • You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
  • Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
  • What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
  • Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  • Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. Bugs are good for building character in the user.
  • I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
  • A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
  • By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  • You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  • Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
  • Our competitors are without honor!
  • Python? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary.
  • Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi.
  • Klingon multitasking systems do not support "time-sharing". When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine.
  • Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
  • My program has just dumped Stova Core!
  • Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!

to win a war is no victory. And ending a battle to save an Empire is no defeat.
(noH QapmeH wo' Qaw'lu'chugh yay chavbe'lu', 'ej wo' choqmeH may' DoHlu'chugh lujbe'lu')

--> To deploy code on production is a fail. Success lies in endless debugging.