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Can you believe these? It's nice to see people naturally deselecting themselves from the gene pool (although there appear to be no similar tales from Barnsley,Ilkeston etc)
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When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
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And now, the Honorable Mentions: The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
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A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
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A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
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A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the sniggers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!!

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Last Post by jasimp
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Can you believe these?

No not really, mostly they're urban myths.

Some of them are amusingly inventive though :)

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I don't know about the others, but the 'robber takes less than leaves' one was mentioned in one of the America's Dumbest Criminals books, so I'm willing to buy the authenticity of that one.

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I believe that lots of people do stupid stuff. The one about the parking space reminded me of a news article I read where a man shot and killed a teenager with a shotgun, becasue the kid walked on his lawn.

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I saw all of those in a clipping service I used to receive. They are real.

More stupidity that happened in and near the town I live in:

- A nearby town has an ordinance restricting the colors businesses can be painted to a short list of certain "antique" colors.

- The city I live in has an ordinance that requires that at least 1 percent of the tax revenue must be wasted on art.

- A man with a "Darwin" fish and a "Veterans against Bush" bumper sticker on his car refuses to accept the fact that the road he drives on to an from work has become an expressway. Instead of taking the right-hand exit ramp that curves around to be the left turn he wants to make, he drives beyond the interchange, makes a U-Turn in a place reserved for police U-turns, and then makes a right exit from the lanes going the other way. Police have stopped him several times.

- A drunk driver knocked on the door of a state police post and asked for a room. The Holiday Inn is next door.

- A marijuana grower called police and said that a homicidal bush was chasing him. He asked police to search the house for the bush. They found 55 pot plants and jars labeled with different kinds of pot.

- Someone from here called in a threat to the NCAA headquarters demanding that the cheerleaders show more skin.

- A man dressed as a woman rode a bicycle up to the drive-through at the bank I use. He put a note in the carrier chute capsule, "Cash now, No Cops!" But at this bank, the tellers are located on the other side of the building. He would have had to shoot through the vault to threaten them with a gun. Thus, there was no threat. After hearing two minutes of laughter, he rode off just as the cops arrived.

- Another man dressed as a woman robbed a credit union. Police arrested a real woman by mistake. She fit the description of the horrible wig and disguise he wore.

- Cars were pulling aside for a police car with its emergency lights on. But the policeman was joining the line of cars, instead of passing them, and then blew his horn at the motorists who were stopping. Finally he realized that he lights were on, and shut them off.

- Our county coroner shot himself in the leg while demonstrating the safe use of a weapon.

- The city confiscated some expensive remote weather sensors one high school student put up around town to collect weather data for a science fair project. The city thought they were bombs.

- The bomb squad came out and roped off an area for hours because someone found two pieces of pipe taped to a square of cardboard. It was a homemade bong.

- The bomb squad detonated a mechanical Santa Claus a former inmate sent the judge to thank him for granting his parole.

- A man crashed his airplane into his ex-mother-in-law's house, killing himself.

- A local lawyer swindled a client out of $300000. He then lost it in a Nigeria scam.

- The bank robber's getaway vehicle had skgns for his business on the sides.

- The car thief was careful to steal license plates from a van identical to the van he stole. But the other van was also stolen.

- The day Skylab fell, pranksters smashed three trash cans full of radio gear with sledgehammers and left them in a large pothole on a local street. They painted SKYLAB on the side.

- Somebody repainted a railroad bridge with the name "LIONEL" in big letters.

- Someone stole copper piping from the refrigerating units of the local food bank, destroying all of the donated frozen and refrigerated food.

- A drug addict stole what he thought was a pile of cocaine from a house. It was Mexican quesofresco cheese.

- Two men killed each other in a shootout over who got the last of the pot.

- A pot smoker killed two teenage passengers when he missed a well-marked curve with his pickup truck.

- A snatch thief stole a plastic Wal Mart bag from a woman walking her dog in the park down the street from me. He got the dog waste the city requires her to pick up.

- A local man being warned to stop inciting a riot yelled "I got Johnny Cochran on the phone right now." He was unaware that Cochran had died a year earlier.

- An escaped prisoner blamed correction officers for his bank robbery. They moved him to a prison too far away for his mother to visit him. He also called his shooting at police "self defense."

- A driver crashed into a building containing an auto accident attorney's office.

- Students destroyed many signs and trees, and tore the fish statues out of the fountain the last time our local university won the NCAA tournament.

- Students destroyed many signs and trees, and tore the fish statues out of the fountain the last time our local university won the NCAA semifinal, then lost the final.

- Students destroyed many signs and trees, and tore the fish statues out of the fountain when the university fired the coach for abusing players.

- The criminals videotaped themselves drinking underage, smoking pot, driving recklessly, and crashing their car. Guess what the police found.

- The bodies of two escaped prison inmates were found in a landfill the day after they went missing. They snuck into the garbage truck, not knowing it would compact the trash.

- The prosecutor sent several hundred wanted people an address where free Indianapolis Colts tickets could be claimed. Over half of them showed up, and were arrested.

- A local businessman offered the city property his burned-out business was on for $1. The mayor was later arrested for taking the $1 from city funds without the money being appropriated by the City Council.

- A man tried to hold up a shop with a flyswatter.

- The criminal who tried to get into an ATM with an oxyacetylene torch set the money on fire.

- A man kept police at bay for an hour with a Samurai sword.

- Police tracked down another man for stealing a sword from the local VFW. When they found him, he had over three dozen stolen swords in his house.

- A one-square-inch plot of land was recently auctioned in a tax sale. The inch of property wqs originally subdivided because anyone who owned land in the region got to use the boat ramp free.

- A lawyer defending a drunk driver was arrested for drunk driving

- A drunk-driving teacher councilman accused the police of entrapment and brutality, charged officials of the other party of conspiracy because they reported him driving drunk, and blamed officials because the pipes in his house burst while he was in jail (the weather turned cold).

- We have businesses named Costley Property Management and Gredy Insurqance Company.

- A local man listed a sports T-shirt on eBay. But his listing never appeared. He asked the eBay techs to find out why. They said he had made a typo in the title, leaving out the "r".

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- A local man listed a sports T-shirt on eBay. But his listing never appeared. He asked the eBay techs to find out why. They said he had made a typo in the title, leaving out the "r".

So he listed "spots T-shirt"? I don't get it!

Votes + Comments
The other 'r' ;)
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