"Give us a call! We are on your side (collecting your cash while you suffer on the streets)"

I am an honest politician.

"Sir, do you know why we stopped you?"
"No."
"You, sir, were speeding."
"Impossible."

I did not mean to hurt you.

"It's not you.. it's me.."

"Don't take it personally, but I think you're a <insert insult> ."

Woops, it was an accident

It's for the children.

I am not mean

The Euro crisis is over.

The Fiscal Cliff is solved.

Or:

There is a Santa Claus after all.

The tooth fairy is real

The solution to the gun problem is more guns.

"Oh, it's going to be easy..."

"Don't worry about it"

All registered members are well familiar with the Member Rules.

"We are family here"

"Our Home is your home" ... 5 minutes later, "don't touch that!"

"but we can still stay friends"
and, of course, the classical combination of:
"yes", "no", and ".... maybe", should be clear to every married man :D

My dog ate my homework

Write this program for me because I can't.

"I didn't do that"

"It is two times more absorbant than the leading competition."

"That test was easy"

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"It's all about job satisfaction"

Just about anything involving the phrase "mutual funds" when spoken by a financial advisor.

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ban weapons will stop crime and murders.

Try reduce :)

Clearly, any mention of banning certain weapons brings the expected response from those taking a specific interpretion of the second amendment. I am assuming that these people would agree that allowing private citizens to possess and freely carry stinger missiles and grenade launchers would be outside the second amendment guidelines and clearly not in the public interest. Given that, where would they agree is a reasonable place to draw the line between the public's right to safety and the public's right to bear arms?