As everyone knows by now, the Apple iPad has arrived. I don't have one nor do I want one. Even at $499, you couldn't run fast enough to give me one of the stupid things--as we say in the South. I was hoping for something more when it came to a true "pad" computer. Not just an enlarged iPod Touch with a little iPhone tossed in for good measure. The great sucking sound you hear is the money you paid being sucked from your wallet and the enthusiasm for it being sucked from your soul.
From it's crappy little 9.7 inch display and its fingerprint resistant touch screen, the iPad is a big disappointment.
Sure, it has thousands of applications already available for it and you can play movies in HD, play music, read books, shop, surf, use WiFi or 3G. And, who cares if it has a built-in microphone and speakers?
Who can even use the stupid virtual onscreen keyboard?
It does have an impressive 1024x768 screen resolution and the battery lasts up to ten hours on a single charge.
It's small enough to go just about anywhere and do almost anything but I have a netbook for that.
Apple's sleek design aesthetic and powerful A4 1GHz processor don't impress me much.
And, apparently if you live in Texas or Alaska, you just can't use it since it has an operating temperature range of 32° to 95° F (0° to 35° C). So much for you who want to do a little mountain hiking. Forget about taking your limited to 10K feet iPad with you. It also won't work under water so it's not great for you SCUBA or skin divers.
If you really think about it, the iPad is a pretty limited device with a very narrow appeal. My suggestion is to leave them at the Apple stores and don't purchase one. Just look at all the other fools that bought them. Or perhaps you're one of those fools who don't have kids and have lots of disposable income (aka "Early Adopters").
And, you'd never catch me standing in line for hours to buy one of the silly things that in three or four years will be nothing more than a fancy paperweight. Nope, not me. Never.
I've only waited my entire life to get my hands on a Star Trek type pad computer and this is what they try to pawn off on me. Is this a joke?
Actually, I should come clean with you about this. I want one. I really want one. I want one so bad that I can almost feel its cold non-fingerprinty screen beneath my sweaty palms. I want to bring it out into the open at my favorite book store's coffee shop and begin penning the next great American novel and have people come up and ask me about it...and perhaps ask me about my novel.
I want to enter my DaniWeb posts on it and have the site's logs record my connection as Safari instead of Chrome.
I want Dani herself to call me to say, "Hey, Ken, I've noticed that you've connected with Safari lately. Is that you or should you change your password?" To which I'll smugly respond, "No, that's me with my new iPad." And then there might be a "BWAAAAHHHAAAAHHAAAAA!!!!" to follow. It just all depends on my mood at that moment.
I want my kids to be jealous of some gadget that I have and they don't.
I want my friends to look at me in disgust while I peer into my beautiful 9.7 inch screen and type on my virtual keyboard.
I WANT AN IPAD!!!
And, I want it before everyone has one.
