@MissManners -- Social Media Etiquette

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As a sign of how mainstream social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter are, people are starting to wring their virtual teeny hands about the proper etiquette around various situations.

Do romantic partners get veto power on Facebook and Twitter friends? What's appropriate fundraising behavior for politicians? Should you be friends with your boss? If you're friends with a couple and they break up, are you obligated to de-friend one of them?

Eek!

One can only imagine the tizzy these people would be in if they were faced with the "ahoy vs. hello" problem of early telephones.

Needless to say, there's plenty of people out there ready to help navigate you through these choppy waters -- preferably for money. One new book, due out this year, is Get Digital: Reinventing Yourself and Your Career for the 21st Century Economy . "The first thing to consider when creating or updating your social networking profile is whether or not it is intended for personal or business use. It cannot be both," author Shelley Palmer finger-wags. "Make a choice and stick to it."

On the other hand, take some of this advice (not to mention her grammar) with a grain of salt. Palmer goes on to say, "You will get more from a close network of 50 friends than you will from a network of 500 people you barely know."

This, actually, is not true. More than 80 percent of the time, people found their jobs not through close contacts (partner, relative, best friend, or close business contact) but through someone they vaguely knew, according to Mark Granovetter, who was at Johns Hopkins University at the time he did his research but who is now at Stanford.

This may not make sense at first, but it does if you think about it. "Most networking gurus continue to tell us: Don’t focus on acquaintances or strangers; instead invest your time in a close circle of contacts." said , co-author of Work the Pond! "Wrong! The problem with this advice is that these folks know the same people you do."

In fact, Granovetter learned that people who found their job through a mere acquaintance--a weak link to a distance network--actually got better jobs because they were exposed to opportunities they would have never known about and to connections further a field, Hallgren-Rezac said.

So sure, manners matter. And yes, don't post pictures of yourself chugging a beer or groping someone. (Especially if you're a teacher.) But don't get too hung up on it.

Dani AI

Generated

raised the right set of practical dilemmas. Social media etiquette is less about a rigid rulebook and more about three things: who your audiences are, what you want them to see, and what expectations you set with people you connect to. is also correct to flag networking: being discoverable beyond your inner circle is useful, but that usefulness comes when contacts understand why you connected.

Use a simple decision filter before you accept or keep a connection: 1) Purpose — does this person need access to your personal posts or only to professional updates? 2) Visibility — are there posts you must hide from them? 3) Consequence — will keeping them as a contact aid or harm your goals? If the answers point to “no,” accept but restrict visibility, or send a short context message explaining why you connect (keeps things professional and polite).

On romantic partners and breakups: negotiate expectations up front. Agree which spaces are shared and which are private. If a partner asks for blanket veto power, treat that as a red flag and discuss specific behaviors instead of sweeping rules. When relationships end, there is no universal etiquette: protect your safety and privacy first. Use platform tools (restrict, mute, block) when needed, and document harassment if it occurs.

Work relationships and public solicitations demand caution. Default to conservative sharing with supervisors and colleagues. Keep professional channels for work and use clearly separate content for personal life. For fundraising or political outreach, be transparent about affiliations and avoid mass unsolicited messages; follow platform rules and local laws. Finally, audit contacts and visible content every few months. Small, intentional housekeeping prevents awkward surprises later.

NoExpertsNeeded 0 Newbie Poster

Thank you for the piece of advice about networking during a job search. These days we do have to broaden our reach and tap into ever resource we can find. Thanks much!

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