The SpongeBob SquarePants satnav

happygeek 0 304 Views

Some of us just want a satnav which tells us how to get from A to B while avoiding traffic congestion. Others, apparently, want a satnav that imitates SpongeBob SquarePants for reasons which, to be frank, are completely beyond me. After all, I don't live in a pineapple under the sea.

Yet the market leader in satnav devices, TomTom, has today announced the availability of a SpongeBob SquarePants voice (following the success of the Homer Simpson satnav) for users of its products. Indeed, the jovial press release even informs me that it will help users to navigate beyond Bikini Bottom. Well whoopy bleedin' do.

So what do you get courtesy of this partnership between , other than extremely annoyed and a headache by the time you arrive that is? Well I am reliably informed that SpongeBob "and his friends" (oh God help us all) add to the navigation commentary with such comments as "Hey, I don’t have a license to drive. So is it illegal when I drive Mr. Krabs crazy?" and "Exit ahead. Hey, we’re cruisin’ in a car! I’ve only cruised in a boat before!"

If that's not bad enough, and believe me it is, it really, really is, then you could choose Dora the Explorer quipping "We need to exit left ahead. ¡Vámonos! We're getting closer!" or "Adventures are better with an explorer like you" if you prefer a different route to your mental breakdown.

The TomTom press release does not make it clear if SpongeBob, or Dora for that matter, will pick up the tab for your costs after you crash while trying to figure out where you should be going or, more likely, desperately trying to turn the damn thing off before you descend into cartoon character-initiated Hell.

What it did say, in a very grown up and not at all cartoon voice, was "Working with Spot It Out and Nickelodeon enables TomTom to expand the range we can deliver to drivers so that drivers can personalise their devices with an array of fun personalities" according to Tom Murray, senior vice president of market development who added "The voices of Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob SquarePants arrive just in time for TomTom users to enjoy during their summer adventures – from camp carpools to vacations – and keep the whole family entertained along the way".

And at only £7.95 for each voice who could possibly resist, he says slowly raising hand...

Dani AI

Generated

called it: if novelty voices aren’t your thing, there’s a quick, practical way back to a plain, predictable navigator without the cartoon chatter. The following notes explain how to pick a no-nonsense voice, remove extras you don’t want, and reduce in‑car distraction so the satnav does its job — nothing more, nothing less.

On most modern TomTom devices the voice selection is built into Settings → Sound → Voices (or Settings → Voices on some models). Pick a different voice there; to add or remove voices use MyDrive Connect (sign in, go to My Content → My Voices) or the device’s voice manager. If you prefer street names read aloud choose a computer/text‑to‑speech voice where available — recorded novelty voices usually can’t read street names. (help.tomtom.com)

If a voice won’t change or audio behaves oddly, check that voice guidance is enabled on the device and that any downloaded voice packs are up to date via MyDrive Connect (or TomTom HOME on older models). Confirm your car’s audio/Bluetooth routing and volume aren’t masking guidance. For older units the same basic actions apply but the management tool and menu names can differ slightly. (help.tomtom.com)

Practical safety tips: don’t fiddle with settings while driving — make changes parked — and consider selecting a simple computer voice for clear, short instructions when you need minimal distraction. Research into in‑vehicle infotainment shows even well‑intentioned voice features can take attention from driving, so keep prompts brief and avoid novelty commentary on busy trips. (newsroom.aaa.com)

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