what to do when the person whom you respect a lot hurt you ?

[I_m_rude]

if someone (older than you) hurts you and he or she is the person whom you respect from core of heart. Suddenly, someday he or she says you "stop showing your rspect to me, i don't need your respect". then what should we do at that time or stage ? and also share that what should we do after that time when he/she goes after saying this ? thanks ;)

[stultuske]

why would you 'have' to do anything at all? yes, it might be a bit painfull, but have you checked whether or not that person might have a(ny) reason(s) for saying this?
maybe he/she just wants to help you to better get on your feet in life, as a help to grow up and become an independent addult or a more professional worker yourself.

[Reverend Jim]

You should determine whether this is a perceived (by you) slight or an actual slight. If it is actual then you should ask yourself if it was dererved. Was it caused by a specific act or series of acts on your part? Was the person who slighted you the target of your unwanted attention? Are you fixated on this person in a creepy way, such as, perhaps, by adopting the same avatar? If this was a face=to-face relationship and you started dressing and acting like the other person this would be seriously weird.

[I_m_rude]

@jim no it is not face to face. when anyone is helpful to you alot(just like you , for example), you get attached to that person as he is helping you a lot. but, when you think that he is damn nice and helping, helping me alot and your respect incrases day -by-day. but when you come to know that he dont have any worth of you and even laugh when you show respect to them, then that is a pathetic situaion. what about this ?

[deceptikon]

but when you come to know that he dont have any worth of you and even laugh when you show respect to them, then that is a pathetic situaion. what about this ?

You take it up privately with him instead of airing your dirty laundry. And if what you suspect turns out to be true, simply walk away and move on.

[I_m_rude]

what is the problem here now ? it is geek's lounge and we are here to discuss any thing special or something like that.Again your link is temorarily not working :p. is it against the rules of daniweb.com ? Sorry if i am doing something against the rules. if yes, then which rule i am breaking. thanks in advance to you. any response will be highly apprciated.

[deceptikon]

any response will be highly apprciated.

When you down vote every response for frivolous and trivial reasons, I'm disinclined to do so. Goodbye.

[I_m_rude]

sorry @deceptikon. actually, I was little bit unprofessional at that second. it will not happen in future. thanks in advance. any response will be appreciated.

[Reverend Jim]

but when you come to know that he dont have any worth of you and even laugh when you show respect to them, then that is a pathetic situaion. what about this ?

I suppose you can conclude that the relationship is not what you had assumed and move on. Just because this other person is not interested in the same sort of relationship that you are doesn't mean that he/she considers you worthless.

when anyone is helpful to you alot(just like you , for example), you get attached to that person

Sometimes people just want to help without entering into a personal relationship. What you get out the relationship is help with a technical problem. What I get out of it is a feeling of satisfaction that my skills are being put to use and the good feeling that comes from helping others.

[I_m_rude]

yes. that right answer what i was expecting. thanks to you. Any other response wil also be appreciated. thanks in advance.

[diafol]

My advice would be to grow a pair and stop being so needy. You're coming across like some sort of sap. Sort yourself out man. Tough love - somebody's gotta say it. Being mamby-pamby with you will just feed your neediness. Move on.

[I_m_rude]

@diafol will you please throw more light on this what you have said. thanks in advacne to you.

[iamthwee]

Your question is ridiculous.

1. You have given us absolutely no idea to the context?
2. Are we talking a work relationship, friendship, love/romatic relationship?
3. Are you male is this person female?
4. How did they disrepect you? I putting 2-1 odds that you're over inflating this based on the way you write.
5. What makes you think a bunch of random internet strangers are going to provide anything meaningful to your situation. We don't know you?

[I_m_rude]

yes that what i want to make this questions. just think the possible way it can be in. :)

[Reverend Jim]

What diafol said. Apparently some people can take a hint only if it is applied with a sledge-hammer.

[iamthwee]

Holy Crap, I just did a bit of digging and I think I've come to realise what this thread is about!?

Now if the OP (now deleted) decides to come back here to re-read this thread I hope he can take back something from it.

1. You're whining like a little girl over something on a RANDOM internet forum. Yes, these are NOT real relationships, friendships or whatever. Simply a bunch of people from all over the world expressing their opinions. If you behave like this with complete strangers God only knows how you react with real people who ACTUALLY do something hurtful to you.

2. I want you complete the following exercise. Go to a mirror pull down your pants make a cup with your hands and feel in between your legs. You should, if done correctly, find two egg shaped objects. Give them a little squeeze just to be sure they're yours. Great... Now start using them. I'm praying you don't find a moist vagina down there.

Good luck

[diafol]

Urgh. Iamthwee that's hideous. But funny. I could have done without the final adjective. :)

[nitin1]

ohh god! what is happening here ? Issn't there any watch what they are discussing ? I have read rules, in that it is prohibited to talk vulgur. seriously, you are discussing very bad. please admins, it's request to you that please stop all these things from daniweb.

[stultuske]

ehm ... Iamthwee ... what if the OP actually was female? would you still resent it if she found a vagina instead of "two egg shaped objects"? :)

[diafol]

@Ajay2

A quick flip through "deleted members's" posts and PMs showed that this person had no problem with vulgarity, filthy language and profanity when they were posting under that name. Remember? Reminds me of:

"He who comes into equity must come with clean hands."

[nitin1]

but this forum very well known, then you all are mess up just because of him. what awkward thing you all are discusiing ? it is very embarrasing. please admins do something here. and @daifol do you think these all posts are good for daniweb's name ?

[iamthwee]

ehm ... Iamthwee ... what if the OP actually was female? would you still resent it if she found a vagina instead of "two egg shaped objects"? :)

Truth be told, I actually had to do a bit of digging to figure out if the OP was, in fact a guy. In all honestly he does give off the vibe of being a hysterical little girl, I don't know whether I want to slap him or ask him if he wants to go shopping for handbags?

Seriously though, to the OP, or the other guy who appears to be masquerading as the OP under a different alias (apologies if I am wrong but your writing styles are very similar) here's the deal.

Your rep on an online internet forum is meaningless. I'm sorry to burst your bubble but in reality no one cares. Now you seem like the type who enjoys whining, maybe you even get a rush of endorphins from it, who knows.

Now raise of hands anybody who knows someone like this in real life? Yeah I'm sure we all do, and we all think about how irritating that person is and how they don't contribute anything to our lives or even their own lives. The lucky thing is we as human are conscious and capable of making CHOICES. We can either CHOOSE to be whiners all or lives or CHOOSE not to be.

If you choose the former, go ahead and join the forums whiners.com.

Good luck.

[nitin1]

:-o have you refered me as the alias ? :-D i have my net on home just 10 days before and my teacher has told me about this site. how can i be alias if you are refering me.

secondly, if you think you can slap me which you trying to say, then STOP HERE only as you will be damn harmed very badly if you just even think of that.althogh, i should not care about the person whom you are refering to..but you will not also be left unharmed if you do that. So be cautious before giving threat to anybody. i know what happens in my country as my father is DCP here. ;)

thirdly, that person has left the forumn , so why you are still showing your fake anger on him/her ? if he has already left the forumn, then why are you still over reacting on this post ? if he has marked the thread solved, then why can't you make your self to stop commenting on this post ? if you still want to continue on this thread, then start a new thread. i hope you will understand. ;)

[Mike Askew]

If you choose the former, go ahead and join the forums whiners.com.

I tried, the work proxy filters blocked me :( Must be a sign it was not meant to be!

[diafol]

@daifol do you think these all posts are good for daniweb's name ?

This is the Geek's Lounge and I respect people's rights to start topics on most subjects. The fact that 'deleted poster' chose to bang on about some online slight is frankly ridiculous and I treated the post in the manner it deserved (IMO). This poster had a history of sending hate mail via PM and spoof-hijacking another user's identity. Definitely an individual this site could do without. I just hope that this idiot/loser (etc. delete as appropriate) hasn't assumed a new identity and re-joined the site.

[nitin1]

hahahaha... it's okay! but why do you hate him/her alot ? :p :-D

[diafol]

hahahaha... it's okay! but why do you hate him/her alot ? :p :-D

I don't hate the person, I pity him more than anything. He seemed to be an emotionally immature individual who had trouble expressing himself. He fawned over certain members of the forum, using creepy language and showering them with ridiculous praise. Then when somebody else had the temerity to criticize him, he lost the plot and started on his hate campaign. As I said, an individual we could do without. But, if said person were to behave, I'm sure he could become an useful contributor. Here's living in hope.

[nitin1]

what does it mean But, if said person were to behave, I'm sure he could become an useful contributor. Here's living in hope. ? :-)

[diafol]

OK - my last post in this thread. To explain. If banned user, 'I_m_rude' or whatever his name was, decided to re-join with a new username and then behaved in a decent manner (not sending hate mail etc), I'm sure that he would be welcomed as a good contributor. What this site most definitely does not need is some flavour of troll.

Seeing as we wouldn't necessarily know the user's new identity, he would have a second chance at being a nice person, without carrying the stigma of being a fool in the past. So - he can go away forever or come back as a nice guy - I don't care which.

I hope that's clear enough for you.

[nitin1]

lol.. okies.. now imthewee it's you turn.. come back.. where are you? we are waiting for you here. come on!!