Programmers: "What to Say When Your Program Doesn't Work"

[mattyd]

How many of these do I say to myself each day while sitting at the compiler? :rolleyes::lol:

TOP 20 REPLIES TO CLIENTS - FOR PROGRAMMERS
(when when their programs don't work)

20. "That's weird..."

19. "It's never done that before."

18. "It worked yesterday."

17. "How is that possible?"

16. "It must be a hardware problem."

15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"

14. "There is something funky in your data."

13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"

12. "You must have the wrong version."

11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."

10. "I can't test everything!"

9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."

8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."

7. "Somebody must have changed my code."

6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?

4. "You can't use that version on your system."

3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"

2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

1. "It works on my machine"

From: LINK

[happygeek]

Don't forget the classic support solution, stolen from that superb UK sitcom 'The IT Crowd' (written by the same chap who was responsible for the equally brilliant 'Father Ted') of:

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[Ravalon]

Client: "Your product doesn't work!"
Raye: "Bummer."

I can get away with that though. My clients are cool about problems, and I fix them promptly enough that there aren't any complaints. :)

[mattyd]

Client: "Your product doesn't work!"
Raye: "Bummer."

I can get away with that though. My clients are cool about problems, and I fix them promptly enough that there aren't any complaints. :)

Yes, my work is like this as well. My Boss could not be more understanding. The thing is, I believe I am harder on myself than anyone else ever has been. :confused:

[Jaseva]

7. "Somebody must have changed my code."

My favorite :lol:

[Ravalon]

"Hmm, my code must have rotted. Are you sure you're using the program enough?"

;)

[Nick Evan]

The lamest:

"Are you using <software that you know the client has installed>?"

[happygeek]

Or 'what other software are you using?' then later 'oh, it must be something to do with one of those then'

[Ancient Dragon]

Its Microsoft os -- you have to reboot it once in awhile.

[~s.o.s~]

"You must be missing one of the lib files...."

"I hope you aren't using *nix"

"Have you tried banging the sides of your monitor."

"I knew Pascal wasn't a good choice for this product..."

:mrgreen:

[PirateTUX]

"No no... that's a feature!"

[Sulley's Boo]

* "It worked yesterday."
* "Why do you want to do it that way?"
* "It works on my machine"

My Favs :cheesy: