Posts by jamello

Hey people -- it's a JOKE!!!! :icon_rolleyes:

I am quite surprised at the kind of response that this tread had generated at what was supposed to be a joke!:-O

Yeah. Post in a geeks lounge thread, and say I agree. That will get you all the reputation you need.

I found this to be true. This is inspite of my serious reservations. Quite unfortunate:(

http://www.daniweb.com/forums/thread79478-16.html

animals Revenge On Humans

;)

That's a good one. arj. Where did you get these ones.

393

Hey arjunsasidharan!
Please do quickly post something. You have 666 posts!
Post something quick so that your posts can be more than this pretty controversial number:S . Peace

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, russian sceintists found traces of coper wire dating back 1000years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So, not to outdone, in the weeks that followed American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:
"US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Ugandan newpapers reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Ugandan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology. :-O

...Just kidding:icon_cheesygrin:

Yay even I have loads. ;-)

that is an understatement!, You have tonnes of it:cool: !

> I know i really want to but always have no money :( i feel so guilty - sorry Dani!
You misunderstood Dani's post.

explain :?:

can i have ur yahoo chat id so that we can discuss there in detail.

cybernna

397

I hope you guys enjoy this one: Got it from somewhere i can't remember!

Little leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought
this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy 's mother asked him if he thought he deserved a bike for this birthday. Little Leroy, of course thought he did.

Leroy's mother being a christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior ovet the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend
Leroy
Leroy knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2:
Dear God,
I have been an "OK!" boy his year. I still would really like a red bike for my birthday.
…

"Capitalism for Dummies" (sorry it's a bit lengthy..)

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

German Capitalism: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

British Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Arkansas Capitalism: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
Hindu Capitalism: You have two cows. You worship them.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for …

"It is pretty well established that "baloney," meaning nonsense, does come from "baloney" the sausage (which is indeed named after Bologna, Italy). Baloney was (and often still is) regarded as a humble food of, as you say, dubious origins. It thus made a good metaphor for "junk" much as today we use "spam" (fairly or not) to mean unwanted e-mail advertisements. One of the earliest uses of "baloney" to mean nonsense was in the catch phrase "It's baloney no matter how thin you slice it," popular in the 1930's".

http://www.wordwizard.com/ch_forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1619

that's interesting. Americans really have a way with words.
Sometimes watching "western" movies and even in contemporary society you hear people exclaim "Son of a gun!" what does this mean.

Please ladies and gentlemen, when Americans refer to a statement as "baloney" and usually from the context it is meant as false. Where or what is the root of this word. It sounds more like food to me!;)

wishing you the best of luck!

Hello, we have few things already done for few cyber cafe here in India and will highly appreciate if we given a chance to serve u the best solution for ur cafe.
Regards.

Lets see how it goes. What do you have. Opensource? educate me.
Cheers!

400

This only occurs on a single page. New command buttons dropped on the page from the toolbox will not fire and event. ??
thanks,
earlofroberts

Check and see if the autopostback property is set to "true". It is likely to be "false" now. Please try this and get back to me.

Hai all, i want to create an page with menu items ...on Mouseover it ll appear and mouseout it ll disappear...pls help me to do this....
Thanks...

Can we see what you have attempted so far and we can take it from there.

Hey Dani and the rest,

I'm still here but only every now and then. A couple of you know that I recently had a medical adventure (two months in the hospital). Recently, I backslid a little on my healing so I have to do some more healing the cover the ground I lost. Like a dog, I'm resting and licking my wounds and peeking out every now and then. So, I'm not leaving the "Dani Web Commuity" that I'm so fond of .. I'm just getting well enough to come back full strength.

Yours Truly
Junyah

I'm truly sorry, but its good hearing about your recovery. Please recover quickly, Okay. We cant wait to have you back! peace

I try to print out values from datagrid on button click.I hope I shall get answer from here

why don't you give explicit details of what you want done and your attempt and let's take it from there. Okay?

Now, you knew you would get an increase of good reps for this one, didn't you?. ;)
Smart man/woman. You have been watching the "stock market".

That was a good one Aia! I like the "watching the stock market" part. I laughed and laughed at your observation(s) and conclusion(s). It was really fun.

You see, all I want to do is to really have fun while I am out there and I am truly amazed at how the mind of man works. Its a real piece of art.

The purpose is not to garner what is refered to as "good reps" but to share ideas, knowledge (tech. or otherwise) and beliefs (be they religious, intellectual or otherwise) . So I was truly and really taken aback at the reaction(s) I got from some of the posters by simply afirming that I believe that Jesus is the way, the truth and the Life. Some actually gave me bad reps( the red button) and were sarcastic. So you wonder if...

• the bad reps were for having the audacity and the "temerity" of posting my belief
• the bad reps were for hating who or what I believed in
• or for reversing whatever "good reps" I had "smartly" garnered by posting such.
• Or for posting out of context which is not the case here if you really studied the context of the post (it was posted in the off-topic, relaxation part of the forum)

To me it makes …

793

lol.. idk, I just assumed that we were counting to negative infinity.. might take a while though..

713
About when did this countdown start? Looks quite interesting

Jesus is the way the truth and the life. :)

Please say it again! I believe it!

I've had this for a long while and I don't know if some of you guys had heard it. Here goes..

This happened in a german concentration camp during the xmas period. German battle weary officers were to "in the spirit of xmas" set prisoners free. Criteria? Answer a few questions.

The first prisoner to step forward was from Austria (one of the unfortunate ones). The following conversation took place:

Soldier: "Please answer zese kestion. In ze year 1912, an ice breeker sailed from sousampton on her vey to newfondlan but ze ship vos hit by an ice verg and it zank, vot vos its name?
Prisoner: "Its The Titanic! Sir!!"
Soldier: "Veghry Good, You are free to go" And the austrian prisoner went on his way happy.

The next prisoner to step forward was from America.
Soldier: "Please answer zese kestion. In ze year 1912, an ice breeker called ze Titanic, sailed from sousampton on her vey to newfondlan but ze ship vos hit by an ice verg and it zank, How many people ver on board ze ship?"

Prisoner: "About 1500 people were on board the ship sir!"
Soldier: "Veghry Good, You are free to go" And the amerian prisoner also went on his way happy.

The next prisoner to step forward was from Isael - A Jew.

Soldier: "Please answer zese kestion. In ze year 1912, an ice breeker called ze Titanic, sailed from sousampton on …

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers

>Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers

That's funny! Actually they are not programmers they are procGrabbers (process grabbers!);)

its a joke LOL

Thank goodness!:sweat:

I had that at one time...

Here's something I found back in the 80's:
========================================
Creators Admit Unix, C Hoax

In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate April Fools prank kept alive for over 20 years.

Speaking at the recent UnixWorld Software Development Forum, Thompson revealed the following: "In 1969, AT&T had just terminated their work with the GE/Honeywell/AT&T Multics project. Brian and I had just started working with an early release of Pascal from Professor Nicklaus Wirth's ETH labs in Switzerland and we were impressed with its elegant simplicity and power. Dennis had just finished reading 'Bored of the Rings', a hilarious National Lampoon parody of the great Tolkien 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. As a lark, we decided to do parodies of the Multics environment and Pascal. Dennis and I were responsible for the operating environment. We looked at Multics and designed the new system to be as complex and cryptic as possible to maximize casual users' frustration levels, calling it Unix as a parody of Multics, as well as other more risque allusions.

Then Dennis and Brian worked on a truly warped version of Pascal, called 'A'. When we found others were actually trying to create real programs with A, we quickly added additional cryptic features and evolved into B, BCPL and finally C.

We stopped when we got a clean …

Cars have a useful purpose, guns do not.

Oh no no! Guns can be used to extinguish bad bad people. Ain't that "purpose" enough:D

Hi, there people!

I have a project I have to deliver but I am at loss on the relevant tech. to use although I am a predominantly vb.net guy.

I am to deliver a software that would enable an internet cafe do these basic things.

• Issue tickets that enables users to login and use any computer system on the network to browse the internet.
• At the expiration of the time bought (via the ticket) the computer screen is blocked to further usage and the login page is displayed.
• On the server, We should be able to see the list of connected or logged in users and the usage time remaining
• see the list of websites being visited by each of the computers
• Ofcourse if i'm able to do the above, I can report on daily sales and so on.

So people what is the overriding tech to use.:?: I know it a client and server app. Thanks in advance:cool: .
Ideas are welcome.

Do i have to pay anything for using the bulk sms gateway. and how do I use it? Sorry to bother you so much but i really have to do this urgently.

Yes my dear, the idea is that you buy bulk smses and use your account in sending the smses. I personally use intellisoft's gateway(s). See a similar post i did just today.
http://www.daniweb.com/techtalkforums/post377646.html#post377646
Further questions? get back to me.:cool:

Hi..anyone here have sms gateway coding (vb.net)for windows application??
i need a free service..meaning i will hope my application can able to send sms to my customer for latest news/promotions. how can i do so? :sad:

This you can use. I registered with this outfit and I could buy smses and send sms to any phone through my website. The following code shows the format. It's really simple. Any company you register with will give you the dlls to install on your machines giving you access to their gateways. Best of luck. Get back to me for further questions

'use the intellisoftwares' gateway
'objIntelliSMS = New IntelliSMS
'objIntelliSMS.PrimaryGateway = "https://www.intellisoftware.co.uk"
'objIntelliSMS.BackupGateway = "https://www.intellisoftware2.co.uk"
'objIntelliSMS.Username = "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
'objIntelliSMS.Password = "xxxxxx"
'Try
' objIntelliSMS.SendMsg(strCellFoneNo, "This sms operation  is successful", "www.MySite.com")
' lblError.Text = "SMS Sent successfully to " & strCellFoneNo
'Catch Ex As Exception
' lblError.Text = "Error!: SMS could not be sent to " & strCellFoneNo
'Finally
'End Try

I think im too young to play the stockmarket

jb! Do you seriously think you are too young? Pls, it is always better to start young (to me the younger the better) so that if you crash before you are 30 it would be easier to get up and a-going!:)

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India..

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave! -letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've t o go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with …

Here are some:

That was pretty good, man. I like the superman stuff too. Never heard any of it before.

Hey People (Boys and Girls, Male and Female)! Let's not get into a FIGHT about the 'appropriateness' of FIGHTing in public no matter the gender of people involved.

Bottomline: Fighting (fisticuffs) is not the right thing to do no matter which gender is involved. It should not be encouraged whether during the rainny season or dry season! It is babaric and exposes that part of man that should be worked upon to be better.

Personal note: I found the pix very very offensive:ooh:

Never! ;)

You know christina, you really intrigue and make me laugh:) . I am pretty glad you changed your mind about leaving. I really do encourage you to be yourself and never give up. OK?:cool:

I found out why, its my mums computer, she has the Vista Transformation Pack installed and it fucks with the sizes, only happens when i create programs on this computer. works on all others
Vista Transformation Package is not your friend!

okdokey!:)

Where are you located?

I've just finished a long term contract and looking for another big project;
3-6 month contract
or a full time offsite position as an ASP.NET developer/architect.
I have 6 years of a full cycle development experience with ASP.NET 2.0
(C#) and Microsoft SQL Server 2005 development.
* I have strong skills in developing relatively big scalable Databases,
utilizing views, stored procedures, functions, triggers and notification
services.
* Have experience of developing and implementing web applications
using a full System Life Cycle Methodology using .NET 2.0.
* Have experience in developing Web Services (using SOAP protocol).
* Have mature skills in user interface design.
* And.. have more then 7 years of IT experience in overall.

I'm oriented towards developing high quality scalable web solutions. Have
strong OOP skills, eXtreme Programming oriented (test driven
methodology),
utilizing best common practices, programming patterns and coding
standards.
If you need a high quality, nice looking, accurate, scalable and extendable
web application or a web site; then I am a truly that person you need!
(At least for $15/hour (or $1,5-2K per month) it's close to impossible to
find more accurate and skilled programmer).
You may contact me via MSN Messenger: web2011@hotmail.com
Skype : edevelopernetwork
Or email: at info@edevelopernetwork.com
Thanks,
Anand Mathews

Hi all,

I am trying to insert date but not able to, im using SQL server.

This is my code:
Dim str As String
Dim cmd As SqlCommand
Dim con As SqlConnection
Dim sql As String

Function AccessDate(ByVal dateandtime)
Dim myday
Dim mymonth
Dim myyear

myday = Day(dateandtime)
If Len(myday) = 1 Then myday = "0" & myday

mymonth = Month(dateandtime)
If Len(mymonth) = 1 Then mymonth = "0" & mymonth

myyear = Year(dateandtime)
AccessDate = myyear & "-" & mymonth & "-" & myday

End Function

Protected Sub btnadd_Click(ByVal sender As Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs)
sql = "insert into cashtable(tdate) values(# " & AccessDate(Now()) & " # )"

Try
con = New SqlConnection(str)
cmd = New SqlCommand(sql, con)
con.Open()
cmd.ExecuteNonQuery()
lblinfo.Visible = True
lblinfo.Text = "Record Inserted"

Catch ex As Exception
lblinfo.Visible = True
lblinfo.Text = ex.Message
Finally
con.Close()
End Try

End Sub
Protected Sub Page_Load(ByVal sender As Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs)

str = ConfigurationManager.ConnectionStrings("ShanthiConnectionString").ConnectionString
lblinfo.Visible = False
GridView1.Visible = False

End Sub

Thanks in advance

Try replacing the '#' with one inverted comma like so '
sql = "insert into cashtable(tdate) values(' " & AccessDate(Now()) & " ' )"

www.brinkster.com is a good one too. I had never had any problems with them

he wasnt harsh its probably true like what kind of mother would leave there kid by them selve at 3 years old like common use common sence

The last news item I read was that she( the child) was sleeping in a cot not far from where they sat. I think it is a bit harsh to insinuate that the mom was negligent. Yes- that might be true if that abduction of babies her age was a common thing in that part of the world she resides and there is a red alert about a kidnapper on the prowl.

I sincerely think she would not want to be careless with her own child. It is rather unfortunate it happened this way!

Yeah, no one asked me to but I know that half of Daniweb probably wants me gone anyway

Christina my dear, I for one do not want you to leave Okay. I believe you are quite an interesting young lady and you really spice up things around here. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE:)

> I'm just as "mean" to other people as I am to you, so don't feel like you're being singled out.
Good thing moderators are outside the 'mean' domain ;-)

> But I clearly understand, I'm stupid. I'm done.
You have just started out in your life. Like Narue previously said, these things do and will happen. Running away won't solve your problems, face them, fight them. Good luck.

Yes ~s.o.s~ was right my dear. Sometimes you can't take very seriously what you are told or how you are treated out here. If you do you might develop "daniphobia";) . I remember weeks ago when somebody came out of the blues and told me point blank that my thread or question was "silly". He took my question out of context and called it "silly". On the face value it looked insulting but instead I took time to explain why I think I asked a proper question. He is not even the one to whom I had directed my question. I was only curious to know to what extent guys over here in africa are contributing to outsourced software projects from other parts of the world and he called it silly. Although the person to whom I directed the question offered no comment but all I did was ignore and move on because you will always have the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY! and you should have known by now because you have been around for some time. …

hi im just starting to design a database using adodc but I have a problem...

can someone give me tip on how to create a search code for ADODC... thx in advance

Try the following code.

adcBrowser.Recordset.Find txtSearchHdr.Text & "  like '" & txtSearch & "_'", , adSearchForward
'adcBrowser is the name of your ADODC
'txtSearchHdr.Text is your recordset field
'txtSearch is your search criteria

if you want to search for a hypothetic recordset field sname for "surname"
begining with "dav" then txtSearchHdr.Text is sname
and txtSearch is dav

adSearchForward or adSearchBackward can be used.

Different authorities quote different numbers, from 189 to 194.

The UN has 192 members. But the Vatican refused to join, and the UN considers Taiwan to be a province of China, and won't let it join.

The 194 above don't include areas such as Palestine, Western Sahara, Puerto Rico, and England, which are territories or states in larger countries.

Thanks for the insight MidiMagic, That was a bit to think about.:-/

Try this, I am not sure it would work. Look at the display properties of you screens. Be sure they are of the same screen area ( I mean 1024 x 768 or less). If they are different your apps rendering might be streched in comparison to the dev. computer. Please get back to me if this doesn't work. Peace

Just now i burnt my .vbp on to disc from my computer so i could put it on this one

Everything works fine and is correct size but when i put it on this computer.. everything is different sized. like its stretched? i even made the .exe on my computer. put it on this one. and its stretched on this one to whats going on? anyone know this is really annoying.

who said that asp.net is replacing PHP ??
do u know that php is the most language used for web dev

I think the guy acceeds to this fact! that's why he used the word "replacing". php is relatively old and asp.net is relatively "young" or "new" if you like:cool:

Now to the question, One may not be able to predict the name with microsoft might christen their product. But be assured that this fact is not lost on microsoft. Peace.

It seems you already have an idea of vb6. How proficient are you with vb6? This is to determine what sample codes to send to you in vb.net. Do you classify yourself as a beginner, intermediate or an expert.

I dont have yet,and i want to know also if visual basic 6 is like with vb.net because visual basic 6 is the langauge im using now. Please give me some sample codes. Please...

I also think it would not be a bad idea if you learn vb6 before learning vb.net.