how to calculate incoming and outgoing packets of a particular system??
how to calculate bandwidth at the router??

You would need a tool to monitor the packet counts either at the pc level or at the router level.

Depending on the model of the router, you may already have netflow support built in. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netflow If it is any of the consumer based low-end routers, then probably not. You would need a router firmware that would support those needs (i.e. DD-WRT or Tomato).

At the PC level, just google "Freeware Bandwidth Monitor" and take your pick.

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